Are 2nd Generation African Migrants / Parents Losing Their Grip ? // SAY IT LIKE IT IS – Ep 96
Are 2nd Generation African Migrants / Parents Losing Their Grip ? // SAY IT LIKE IT IS – Ep 96
SAY IT LIKE IT IS (Playlist):
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I stayed home for my kids and they are best kids and focused , but my career took back sit, I am very proud mother,I am returning to school at 45 to do my for master , but my kids are safe,
Phrankleen try to live in Israel as black " jew"
Hi Phrankleen , do you mean to say that the British should uphold African values, while they are British ? Will Africans uphold European values in Nigeria ? The truth is , neither of them can and will , because each country has its individual culture , history, destiny and habits.
One should be aware of it !
Within the African community you could try to live some of your values , but it will also be difficult, because the structure you are finding yourselves is British and not Nigerian ! If possible the best guard against children turning to crime is a healthy marriage and for BOTH parents to spend valuable time with their children ( teaching by example, sports , discussions on topics , acceptance , love and security and maybe being creative as a family ). Greetings Conny
I agree with the reasons provided and would include functional fatherlessness especially when dealing with young boys. Solution to the problem may include homework centers collectively founded by volunteer mentors for the purpose of providing productive time slots for kids while instilling our values in them.
You have to realize that the west was never setup to raise children period.
It takes a whole neborhood and extended family to raise a child.
It when 1 child get used like the slave then when they are done using you they badmouth you to he whole family like you have never done shit. So they can take credit and tell the whole world that you are worthless and just all type of evil things and think that they can beat you and disrespect you and since the other kids where allowed to be kids you are called the slave of the family and when that don’t work then they use the other children to harm you. And disrespect you and ruin what is left of your life.
Phrankleen I can't stop laughing when you said 'they try to use Jesus template to tame the child' LMAO
Ohh i want 2/3 kids i can't actually take care of emotionally & financially, but based on what religion or society are going to think & say, i must have them anyway.
Some people are just stupid.
"the state" = the local and global system of white supremacy racism… The only form of government on this "prison planet" our skin color is our prison uniform… The system thrives on non-white people especially so called black people around the world to be non-constructive in our thoughts, speech, and actions at all times…24/7 no days off. The solution is here @ Producejustice.com IF you are ready…
The Parents actually really lost grip on themselves. Family is pre-planned or the consequences is inevitably risky and generational.
A lot of African parents work so much the kids never see them and they start acting out. It's not okay to very rarely see your own kid's. Consequences will follow.
Great subject. I live in NYC and I recently just noticed how bad some of the African immigrant kids are. When I grew up they were not like that.
Where, I live , I can count may be four/five families from Cameroon. And we each carry cars in the morning to drop kids and then 99% if the children attend after school. I approached them and suggested we help each other and the response I got was – litterally and I quote : '' I can afford childcare cost for my 1 child / 2 children / 3 children''.
I the end I approached a lady from another african country, who understood me. Today, we help each other and in the end we both save the childcare money and use it to bring our kids to activities.
My take is also that – as member of the community of people from African origin – we are so so so selffish and dumb.
People will ge to church, call themselves brother/sister , but yet we are incapable of telling your so called brother/sister lets sit down, lets help each other with childcare i.e. let us look at the children holidays, lets us own in in turns, let us save money because I do not have much, and you do not as well. We are just too selfish and it plays against us. In the UK where I live, community is power. All communities know that and organise their shit, except African parents. All they do is useless, baseless competition around shoes/clothes/somelne's hair aka weaves……
As black community we need to create club or network to empower our youth and ourself. You lift yourself by lifting others. We need to learn from Asia community . Parents of two, I think one should work full time while the other works part time or weekends. There other means like online business on short course you can do that will create time for your family.
We do need to maintain balance. I once told someone, you’ve got to change your parenting style in the UK. This is not Naija. We do have to build a solid relationship with our children. There are many things competing for their minds. We need to make time for them, despite some of our crushing schedules.
Well said phrankleen, That's really typical of some parents here, they think their pastors have answer to their personal problems
If we want to get real on this topic we are going to talk about suicide of African youth in the west.
The truth to the matter in focus here remains that Western culture will always be the same and it's not meant for anyone outside of the culture. Gun is one strong example! Can never be taken out of western social lives or culture. Majority of immigrants wanted to somehow wants to train their words to be successful but between jobs and other factors wouldn't allow such. To me Africa has everything at it's command but bad political reasons kicking folks out into what i called, what good is a diamond. Besides home training in a nation like is never the again because they wanted to be living like American or the European this days. But losing out 100 percent
I do not think our approach of using religion to solve every problem is an African thing. At least in the 90s, I never saw this happen. Our religiosity is often a convenient excuse to convince ourselves we did the best we could.
Nothing should take the place of quality time with the children. We had to decide early on our strategy: I work day and my wife worked nights part time. That way, there's always a parent at home for the children.
Also, learn about the culture where you're living. Engage with the children from this new cultural perspective. That's what they undestand. They won't understand your African culture because that world does not exist for them. Regularly engage in conversation with them and don't ever shout at them if they ask any awkward question. In my family, no question is off limit. From sex to education to sexuality to religion etc.
Exposure , exposure , exposure !
The first ,second and third generations of immigrant families have been studied and the changes have been predictable and studied down to a science in sociology . The first and second generations clash over cultural differences in the new land and by the third generation the conflict becomes drastic . This has also been viewed in businesses that were left/passed down to family ; started by new arrivals and remained in the family for a generation or two . By the third generation , the inherited business is no longer wanted . The youth begin to identity more with the culture of their place of birth and abandon the old world culture . The same dynamic happened with Southerners whom migrated north for better opportunities in the US . We see what happened to strong religious two parented families , education and business wise .
Send them to school in Africa, and bring them back when they are ready for high school or University.
Make God have Mercy on Europe
I think parents should send their kids back home for 3 years minimum before they reach 17. It don't think most kids are turning to crime but some are loosing serious core values that would help them in the future. They don't understand that Blackness is a Super-Power. Nigerianess/Ghananess is a Super Power. Being African is a Super Power. Our blackness is not a disadvantage and we dont need to mimic western values. Sometimes, the UK makes some immigrant children complacent. Sometimes the west can make an immigrant feel "less than''. I don't need to mention those communities who have fallen. We all know them and see them daily. However, this is time to rescue our own and reset our behaviours and values. To reset, the children need to go back home to learn new skills that cannot be bought or taught in the West. Religion will not solve the problem. Religion is like putting a plaster on a Cancer Also, we should teach our children about the need to be impactful in our communities. Learning the latest dance steps and playing the latest AfroBeats is cool but being impactful in our communities just like the Jews and Asians will help up lift our Communities at home and abroad. Our culture, food and traditions is a gold mine. Our work ethics is known throughout the world. We need to teach our children and our communities to sharpen our skills and target the right opportunites before we/they get left behind and for the 2nd gen children to end up as the lost generation.
Very thought provoking
Phrankleen, This is a very big challenge to all African parents; True education goes beyond the classrooms as we have nowadays. Infact, education starts before going to school and continues while children are still in school and after leaving the school. Home/informal education from parents comes in form of impacting good moral values on children while they are young like, hey my son or daughter, always remember the son or daughter of who you are. Respect the laws and order, keep away from bad behaviours, good names are better than gold and silver, be a good boy or girl so that you can grow up to become a better person to yourself and a good citizen of your nation/country. All these go along with certain little form of discipline from home. if a child commit little offence such as, his/her failure to obey simple positive instruction, he/she gets little punishment for it, so as to caution such child from committing bigger ones. ''NIP IN THE BUD'' But in the western world, what Africans believe as informal education that begins from home are no where to be found. And the formal education children receive in the classrooms is not enough to make many of them become the best in life. ''Discipline has lost its place in children upbringing''. Although, not all discipline that lead to success, but I don't think there is any success without certain form of discipline. If a school boy or girl, i mean 16, 17 18 year old who are still living with their parents could go out and come in at any time, and parents do not even know who their friends are, not to talk of where they go in the night because of this so called FREEDOM. Haaaaaa. . . . . . this is dangerous. There is one of our proverbs which goes like this; Late hour night time doesn't know who to respect which brings about the question; Who are You? Phrankleen, Let me stop here, It appears this society is more interested in managing the effects of lack of discipline rather than preventing them through Discipline. It's sad seen the the society building more supported living houses for deliquent children while their parents houses are empty. . . . . . .
Phrankleen, raising kids to me is like sowing and reaping. If a parent had a good upbringing with a sound core and moral value, it’s definitely going to reflect on the parenting styles of the parents. I believe strongly in the school of thought of you can only give what you have. Agents of socialization such as home, and school plays a vital role in modeling a child from childhood to adulthood. Children learn a lot through observation. My question is what values do we possess that our children will observe from? Are they positive or negative values? Religion is a reflection of our value systems. It should serve as a tool to transform the world not to manipulate people.
Thanks Phrankleen, I enjoy you're uploads.
Nice one Phrankleen but as a father with 3 children here in UK, ages 24, 19 and 15, I can tell you we need his grace to raise them… It is very very difficult. With experience now I have to say its a prayer issue, the kids now are just different irrespective you putting everything in place for them. While I thank God for his mercy, will never tell any parent what to do on kids, they are just different hence I believe we should as parents go on our knees more in addition to all you said.. God help us all.