“You Shouldn't Date For Potential” Is Bad Advice!: Habits Matter More Than Circumstances

This new direction and hard work will pay off one day. Hang in there family. I see it and love where your two are going. Congrats on all the accumulation and growth. So cool to witness.

Oh i love the 'shared" entertainment!!!!! Shannon and Jared!!!!!!

I hope dating for potential works. Its all I've done in my life and its all my phycologist says i shouldn't do.

i see what youre saying but also a lot of the time when people are talking about 'potential' in dating they are already including 'habits' and ways of thinking, even if not said so explicitly. at least in real life maybe not so much on the internet 😅. in real life realistically most women understand most men arent out here balling and dont have every aspect of their life figured out. actually I'd say a lot of what women are being asked to wait on doesnt even have to do with money. a lot of it is respect, honesty, faithfulness, communication, etc.. and tbf it does seem that a lot of men nowadays have this perspective that, 'i'll do all that when i meet the one or when it's time to commit.." but like the man from that tiktok said, if he were capable of it he would already be doing it because someone actually respectful or kind understands that everyone deserves it regardless of the nature of your relationship. i think if youre dating someone hoping they'll be someone theyre not, when they themselves havent shown interest or desire in being that person, youre just setting both of yourselves up for misery. anyways, ultimately i do agree with your point but just wanted to give another perspective. hope yall are having a blessed one

Jared says at: 0:40 that he and Shan started dating when they "all THEY had was potential".

So what the Pastor said at the beginning and Shan and Jared's situation isn't really comparable.

He was referring to women seeing the potential in man as the best they could attract, even though they wanted someone more established.

Shan and Jared were BOTH in a position of potential.

However, the point about looking at someone's habits was an excellent one and that's my main takeaway.

I like this concept a lot. Yes I have to agree with Shan that the res pill space does have a very true point when it comes to habits in a positive partner. Though it was a bit vague on the habits themselves. So some clarification on what those habits would be in another video would be greatly appreciated.
I think the video was well spoken and well shot. Good job!
Thank you Shan BOODY!!

honestly the minute I heard shan is not going to be here I clocked out sorry. I rarely trust black women's judgement over black men any day sorry.

Thank you for sharing this point! I loved the video and Jared you can be so proud of yourself. In the beginning of your relationship I might’ve doubted your “potential” as a longtime viewer of Shan. But you carry such a positive energy and have worked hard to become who you are today. Congrats 🙌🫶

Love the style of this video. Message was cool too. Highlighting the habits is cool for sure.

Love this! I think a lot of people put a lot of pressure into interactions that they almost want to perfect it when we’re all flawed. It’s a lot of confusion surrounding dating and self awareness.

High value to me isnt income dependent: u can figure out ways to make more money.

High values have to coincide with a strong value system( self control, integrity, etc).

Potential is always pushed to women & never to men.

I loved this! I really wanted that bedroom UNTIL I found out the lighting and stuff was all staged! LOL …

I feel like the spirit of this video is: date with your eyes wide open. Use all parts of your person to vet a partner. "Having it all together" doesn't exist and if it did, it does not automatically equal someone who has good Character or who will be a good fit for you. Allow someone to show you who they are over time.

Also, investigate the word "potential" on a case by case basis. Potential is neutral it can be potential for good or potential for bad… Let them show you what way they're leaning.

The qualityyyyyy of this videooo is so good tho i see thw vision. A short film from yall with themes on relationships and sexuality would hit !!!!!

Good shit

I think the tik toker wasn't talking about accomplishment when he says potential but how they act, think, their values, their ambition and how they treat you 🙂

This video was great! Thanks so much for sharing your insights. I definitely think habit AND character play important roles in dating. It’s important to see a person for who their character really is, not who we want them to be.

Jared really articulated something I've been trying to find the language for. I loved this!

Jared is dropping gems. Hopefully women listen ton understand and comprehend what he is saying.

I like this perspectiveeeee