Why Men Don't Share Their Feelings
Why Men Don't Share Their Feelings
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I'm an INTJ female I don't share my emotions with anyone unless I deem them worthy. Not even my family sees me at my worst and when I'm happy.
❤
The ONLY time I lose respect for a man after sharing his feelings is when those feelings are physical anger taken out on me.
I have a lot of respect for a man that shares his feelings in a healthy manner because that is such a rarity.
Doctor K,
I have not lost respect for a man for falling apart. Not when I am a highly sensitive person. Most likely I would probably cry with him. But I haven't found that special person yet. I have been wanting that since I was 16 years old. I will be lucky if I am around in the next 10 years or so. 😢
This should be titled "why men should share their feelings" (so that they don't explode)
The only thing I’d add is that anger is an emotion too and men have no problem letting that one out. It seems like all of the emotions come out as anger because it’s socially accepted for men to be angry. Women can be sad and they can cry but men can feel angry and be aggressive. The cliche (and often the reality) of my mum was depressed and my dad was angry all the time exists for a reason.
Im sorry ?
How can you lose respect for someone being 'to the core' open and vulnerable?
I think this is a 'conditiined male response' (yes in aware thats sexist). Women are conditioned the other way – to appreciate rare vulnerability.
I think…..youre using a male socially conditioned response and assuming women feel the same way.
When honestly, most of us dont.
We feel honored and special when a man selects us to be the rock he cries on.
We feel trusted and beleived in.
Js🤷♀️
Yep, I’m one of the “lost respect” ones
When I express my emotions, it usually sounds like: "stop yelling" – "if this was my yelling, my yelling would have the police called on me" "okay well then you're loud".
When society constantly expects you to keep it together and judges you for being emotional, you'll end up bottling stuff up. Men don't inherently have to just be on or off, but that's what happens when you don't feel like you can healthily express yourself moment to moment.
I dont like expressing my feeling even tho I'm actually very emotional. I just dont have anyone to turn to. I had a girl i dated get an ick from me crying. I've tried to talk to my male friends they where supportive. But i just stopped talking about those issues cause it seems a bother to always go back to the same thing we have already talked about, and i have no way to fix the issues. So i rather just shut up.
That’s true. it seems like women get more slack..
I read somewhere that respect is the lid that covers the hole where love ought to be. Horrible that the existence of the hole decreases the likelihood not only of receiving love to fill that lack, but also to remove any shielding one might have.
When my husband gets emotional, I pay extra attention and work to comfort and understand him because he generally isn't an emotional guy. This means that if he's emotional about it, it's a really big fucking deal and he really needs me in that moment. I respect him feeling able to share those feelings with me and I want to be worthy of that continued trust to share his emotions. I could never lose respect for my husband for expressing his emotions
For the woman who simply understand, Thank you, on behalf of all men. It means a lot.
Sharing feelings is good. But share them when you already solved the problem or solved for 80%.
That or the people your talking too, won’t understand you or will misunderstand you.
That is so sad. I would never lose respect for a man who cries. Ever. They are human just like me.
His face when he goes like "i think its beautiful" aaw bless your heart man❤❤❤
Finesse comes with experience every guys downfall
😂😂
Why is this funny!
So I was good with everything until the very end.
Is he saying that men actually lose respect from others when they are vulnerable? Or just that they lose respect for others when they share and so judge that others won’t respect them? I feel like I missed something. 😅
I actually totally respect my spouse when he takes the risk to be vulnerable with me, I love and encourage it and helps me connect and value him more. He spent SO LONG bottling everything up (his whole life essentially) and was scared I would push him away… so glad he’s finally opening up and he can feel emotionally safe with me, and vice versa. It’s been a journey.
Not always, I don't share my emotions because I'm usually disregarded, disrespected immediately or in the near future by my wife. My friends havnt gon through any true difficulty to respond to it so it usually end up nowhere. There's no acknowledgement, so it makes you think that it just doesn't matter
Aaaaand that's what happened.
Why can't dudes share their feelings in a logical matter of fact way? I've learned over the years to tell how I feel without actually showing the emotion. Could guys learn to share their feelings that way?
Ha most men can not even relate to an attempt by someone for a shared emotional talk.
Ooorrrr we get so used to being lied to, manipulated and gaslit that it's difficult to tell if that person is being genuine or putting on an act. Then if the reaction to the shared feelings isn't what they want or expect the consequences can have a huge impact.
It's a shame really. The line between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy reaction is wide and varied. But its so hard to navigate a healthy reaction in an unhealthy relationship.
Women and men are sooo much more alike than we think, and it saddens me that we don't realize this and instead use bad logic and incorrect assumptions to further a wedge between both groups. BOTH men and women often EXPLODE in either crying (for women, it may be ANGRY even through there are tears; it can be frustration in a a "there's no hope"/"no way out"/"no one gets it" kind of desparation) for anger or legit sadness (and it all masks sadness in the end but still), or RAGE. And what is it all really? VERBAL FIGHT OR FLIGHT. And fawning and freezing can happen, too. But we literally all use the same tactics. To think we don't is going to make life harder for you — this is a cheat code. Very few people — even in women's lives — are supportive; so when you find them, TREAT THEM WELL. They still may not stay with you for their own reasons, though, and you may also need to leave them (even if it's a friendship). Some that we share things with are downright manipulative (like some men and women fear) and they use our stuff against us; that's life — it's a roll of the dice! It's up to us to use prudence to determine if and what and when things can be shared, and with whom; this is a SKILL. Many women don't even have this skill! And, sadly, some people (whether you're a man or a woman sharing) will lose respect for you; but that's the chance you have to take in order to life a fulfilling life — the risk that others can hurt you is what it is to be alive.
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." -Anais Nin
Literally EVERY human has to make this choice for themselves, moment to moment. Godspeed.
😂 this reminded me of Paul that was played by Bruce Willis in Friends. Once that lid was off the jar, he couldn't stop the flood 😭
amazing insight Dr.k thanks for sharing
Frankly Dr.K, I’m not so sure with you on this one. I’ve shared my feelings across the whole spectrum of intensity. Meaning that they’ve all had varying degrees of emotional regulation. The only time I don’t experience loss of respect is not when it’s at 10%, it’s when it’s 0%. Not sharing at all.
Got it, don't share your emotions 🙃
Idk if it’s “loss of respect,” so much as lack of connection because the way the emotions are shared is so emotionless. I think dudes need to learn how to be comfortable with feeling their feelings when they’re at like a 3-4 rather than pushing and pushing them down until they hit 10/10 and it becomes overwhelming. Sitting with and sharing at the lower levels helps keep them from hitting the higher levels inappropriately (there are 100% times when being at a 10 is absolutely appropriate, though). That also helps build connection with the person you’re sharing them with.