The Plague of being a First Born in the African Family
The Plague of being a First Born in the African Family
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As a black man of Caribbean decent I can say even after hundreds of year stolen from Africa this mind set is still prevalent in the community of black people in the Caribbean. Thank you. I thought it was just us in the Caribbean.
True statements from this brother. You better watch out for the blood suckers !!
I'm a Black American. If my mother was still alive, even though she would not ask. I would definitely build a home for her and gladly stay in an apartment or condo. Also, I do think you are responsible for your brothers and sisters if they are sick, cognitively challenged, or have physical disabilities. Then, you do have a responsibility towards them b/c they are your blood. Now, if they trying to leech off of you, then no. It has to be special circumstances. I think with parents, I would make that sacrifice, but anybody else, heck no. My Dad was considered by his friends to be the "Underground Railroad" because he helped a lot of his friends make the adjustment from relocating from the Southeastern US to the North part of the US. But, he helped in helping you help yourself, not leech off of him. Black Americans have a helping culture when it comes to our own family members as well. Often, we allow relatives to live with us until they get in a better financial position, children often returning home to stay with parents because their finances aren't in the best position, help send money to support a niece or cousin in school, informally adopt child family members if their parents can't raise them properly, help family members pay bills, rent, and the mortgage. But, I think we carry it out in a different way in how we help b/c we are just as much American as we are of African descent. Furthermore, we have a social welfare system and we have a system where students can borrow money for school in the United States that does not exist in many African countries. Also, the big elephant in the room is that the economies in those African countries are still not efficient to provide the necessary work opportunities. Here, in the US, we don't have to deal with our mothers and fathers relying on us, because they pretty much made their own way by the time we are adults. Our parents are pretty much set rather they live in a house, condo, or apartment and they don't place expectations on us to give to them, for the most part. Even if we give, it's for small things like groceries, bills, rent, a mortgage payment here or there, and so on. It's not major. You can have parents living in an apartment and their child would live in a house and we are cool with it. Furthermore, we have expectations and limitations. We are big on "we help you if you help yourself" and we aren't giving towards projects that doesn't deal with basic survival needs. For instance, we don't help brothers, sisters, and cousins who are able bodied grown adults and can work, unless there are some real dire circumstances. We expect them to bust their butt and get it for themselves, and if they don't, then oh well. You should only help your family to the degree where it comes to ensuring they have the education and skill set they need to support and take care of themselves, and emergency funds for when unexpected things come up and they need help to pay a bill, rent, or mortgage. But, they should be responsible for building their own homes, for buying that nice car, and for starting their own business unless you have the funds and they make you a partner for you to profit.
U r 100% right my broda ,even some parents while growing up ,thy spend there money on fugi, sunni ade,ebiniza obe,while in there old age thy want there children to suffer bcause thy want u to take care of thm.
Thank you
So we are trying to follow then you jump to yoruba. So where are we?
No no,no…my husband must watch this. I'm not without faults in this matter, but he's the worst he never says no.
Gosh this is exactly what happened to me. Will explain later but is similar story. Watching from UK, South African. I've been here for 21yrs now. I'm 47, came here when I was26 yes. Educated 2x siblings fir so many years. Build a huge house for parents registered in my name but fortunately in villages with the hope that I will relax on it when visiting home instead of using hotels or relatives. I'm unmarried and no children, served I the british army for 12yrs. Exhausted now, but in my last year as student nurse.
I fell out with all of them in 2022 when I visited and realised that I'm just being used as a money tree. I'm forced to spend like I used to do regardless of explaining that I'm no longer working I've got no money. Then I started to see true colours, including from my mum whom I love soo soo much. I had no one on my side, they were all teaming up against me. Not respected at all, infact I was told the house is not mine. There was a lot going on. Until I decided to leave 6 weeks before my leave ended. I was very heart broken, and still heart broken. But I keep moving. I blocked everyone from any social media bcos I knew it will cursing, blaming and blackmailing game. I'm still not recovered but I'm counting my blessing instead. Unfortunately I'm feeling soo detached with any family members bcos I realised no one cares for me.
My Nigerian brother is back one love jamaica đŻđČ
Alot of Nigerians need to learn the basics of boundary setting and to stop people pleasing. So many are bitter and resentful because no one recognises they made. Some will even downplay it. Iâm a single woman, eldest of 5, only one to be born in Nigeria. I borrowed my parent ÂŁ3k when I was 18, lets say I wasnât paid back. That situation put a fire in me and Iâm so grateful that situation unfolded when it did. My eyes really opened. When they asked me to join them so they are eligible for a mortgage in my mid 20s I refused. I became a homeowner in my late 20s in London. They were not supportive and my dad straight up told me âhow can I be happy when I havenât bought a house!â I am soo happy of the incident that happened at 18. I help my family when I can and most importantly I learnt to help from my excess not my survival. Iâm still called selfish, but I donât care. Please learn not to care. Some people forgot they are parents and what that role entails, yet they expect their child to be able to do what they couldnât do. Please make sure you and your family are secure first then help. Alot of your parents and siblings are entitled and lazy. Iâve worked 2/3 jobs to support myself, taken out pay day loans, gone without sleep just to support myself. Yet someone can barely work 1 job and is asking for money. Your kids are watching, if you choose to neglect their needs at the expense of your parents and siblingsâŠ. Please also expect them to neglect you!
Iâm using all my power and might to invest and save while Iâm young, Iâm delaying having children. My default is no!
When we have to invest an hour of our time we might watch every other weekend when we have the luxury of that length of time to liste
The surprise and HUGE smile I had on my face when your video appeared. Your break was very much noticed. Welcome back you amazing human đ
Missed you greatly. Please i am so much interested in IFA DIVINATION. Counting on ypu Thank you.
Oto á»já» máșčta, where have you been?
You understand our pain
But i think many first born females are doing well than first born males ..
Any parent that think because Iâm the first born child, that Iâll be responsible for the other children should please disown mi o because Iâm a child too. Any child can be first born. As for me Iâm not interested. As a mother myself Iâm not putting any responsibility on any of my children. Theyâre each responsible for themselves.
If you can see me , you can hear me SMASH that LIKE button. Phrankleen is back
Totally agree that's me in diaspora I needed to hear this
Sad to say but most African parents are like slave masters who look upon their kids as investments.đ
Times have changed and people are waking up to a COLD cup of coffee!