REVENGE: I want his Visa Revoked // SAY IT LIKE IT IS – Ep 86
REVENGE: I want his Visa Revoked // SAY IT LIKE IT IS – Ep 86
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Well people do fall out of love its life
Sounds familiar without the kids and a little older.
Think about the children beside you already knew from the get go what kind of relationship it was, Phrankleen is right accept your responsibility!!!
They were just having causal sex. There was no love. According to her they never dated. They never got a chance to know each other. No courtship. Just move on and co patent.
So you get him deported. What about the babies.?
Please let him go. Your destiny is not in someone who walks away. You are hurt now but you will eventually realize that he did you a favor.
He doesn't love her and met someone her is in love with and want to be with that person in the future
Just like you said, she should just move on. She only needs to contact the social workers in her area if the man is not contributing financially to the family. He is at lost to me since they already have a mortgage l believe. That is a roof over his children which he must make a contribution monthly, plus the care of his children. He doesn't matter if he is no longer in love with the mother of his children, he has to contribute monthly. He will soon realise that there is no gain from his actions. Woman be at peace and move on, you are still young and can still find true love. Don't ask for too much, get the Social Service involved and not immigration. They will make a plan and tell him what his responsibilities to the children are and why he should not fail. He go hear wen soon, because he go dey work, spend the money here and there with no savings to plan for his new life that he is moving to. Sebi he just woke up now and now realised he has no love for the woman after 2 children. Time will tell, that man should repent and remember that there are many couples that have been married for many years without children. God made things very easy for him and he is talking about no more love. Ire yo tan, o nbe ara e nikun. What they have both achieved together where ever they are living abroad, many people are still praying to achieve these things. I rest my case.
Any action taken must be in the best interest of the children. With all respect to her feelings, the decision should have everything to do with the children and nothing to do with her. Those children need their father
My late husband who was an English got my Visa revoked by writing to the home office our marriage was not subsisting in 2008 after being with him in England for two years and I was removed back to Ghana. I came back to England God willing after seven and half years before his death and now have my citizenship. So his visa can be curtailed but I will never wish for what happened to me, to be done to anyone. Cos that was the most terrible Experience of my life but I thank God for Restoration.
She should let him go and God will bless her with a better man to cherish her and the children.
I think she should do it…..obviously, he's a no good louse….he used her for a green card, and he's probably not even attached to the children.
She should accept responsibility that she was tricked…..turn him in, and send him BACK to the ghettos where he belongs.
Podcast o! Phranklin go do Podcast abeg ! I dey feel you brother.
It seems as if he did not love this woman from they were friends with benefits, but due to his immigration circumstances he quickly married this lady to help him stay in the country. Why he did not tell this lady before he married her that he don’t love her, he then waited until he gets his visa sorted he then now telling the poor woman that he don’t love her . He is a very evil man.
Crazy crazy crazy……. low quality people.
You can not tell me she didn't see any red flags, coz wen a person is pretending to want u or love u,it doesn't hide,u will somehow somewhere u will notice something…… I think she kept lieing to herself abt the relationship, at times we need to take responsibility of what foolishness/stupidity( respectful way but no other words to use) or so. Please ppl stop doing such wickedness to others, it's not okay at all…woman stop being desperate, you can't buy love period
My dear love your self and you must know that you can not make someone stay with you if they don’t want to stay with you.please do not revenge ,l am sure you will not want to do exactly what you are blaming him for. I must say thank him for his honesty by saying that he didn’t love you any more! As long as you love you and love your children!
Evil has become aceptable as a norm
today its papers, tomorrow it's giving someone connections, or giving someone a 'loan' to start a business. its quite evil to withdraw what you have agreed to do. what am I saying ? if you were meant to help someone, help them. The same way God will send helpers to you for other stuff. Lastly, revenge is fleeting, never ever solves the pain or problem. Leave it to God. if hes responsible let him be, he needs to earn pounds to help out with your children, or are you a millionaire? If he goes to Nigeria, how does that help you or the children? don't cut your nose to spite your face. think please and change your mind. I know its difficult….but try. please…….
Bro Phrankleen, you woooow(ed) me on this topic mheen! Very critical thinking/judgement.
Most of dem indulges in the WRONG GUYS and expects GOOD GUYS TREATMENT, lo! It don't work that way!
The ONE THING that drives me CRAZY is people (guys) not been genuine. Truly she was carried away by SEX but that is norm, she's a lady. It's a means for "this guy" to at least be TRUTHFUL instead of knowing fully well in his mind he's not in love with her,. I sincerely believe that she might as well gave him the documents regardless. WHAT GONNA BE GONNA BE! Some dudes are just too HEARTLESS! Imagine after two kids??
One thing I liked about this story is that she's TRUTHFUL with the saying they started as "FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS",. At least this might give some (ladies) SENSE. Once again brother, YOU TOO MUCH!
So this is the Phrankleen talking jibbers about Nnamdi Kanu on Search for Uhuru….. You called Nnamdi Kanu whose group is merely calling for accountability in Nigeria, a coward! But your concern about moving to Nigeria is what his protest is seeking to address. Sowore is not a coward for calling for revolution, but Nnamdi is for criticizing the government, yet you want to be treated with fareness by the U.K police. Oya now!
I don’t understand people who share their DNA and have children binding themselves to a person for an effin’ passport. I would respect a person who pays for it than to dupe someone and lying that you are in a a forever kind of love.
The kids need their Dad. You will be punishing the kids if you get their Dad deported. You may feel good at the expense of your kids if you follow through with retaliation. It is no longer about just you.
Thanks for putting up your channel SAY IT LIKE IT IS BRUV
Regargless of your sincere advice and response to the situation at-hand, many will still make the similar mistakes. I am a Christian Motivational Speaker, and according to Statistics, it had been proven that one of the major reasons for Relationships/Marriages break-up within the Naija Community is due to the issue of PAPERS
Many got into relationships with the Mission of getting their PAPERS
The saddess part of this is ::::: most individuals even bring innocent Children into their whole CORNY and Malicious Mission
We've had, and still having many issues in regards to Papers of how People had been used and dumped. Unfortunately, many of the Victims ended up with depression, lose of confidence, low self-esteem, emotional distress etc
Another Alarm raised is the issue of Majority Individuals whom also found themselves entangled in the limbo of not having their PAPERS
However, these individuals have good intentions, they're genuinely loyal, good, educated and honest people,
but unfortunately had been cajored, or talked into relationships with the Promise of………………… (Don't worry darling I will do your Papers for you! )
Unfortunately, the relationship ended up in Rejection, Variety of Abuses, sexual-violence, ridicule manipulation, lies, oppression, shaming, intimidation, and at the end, Failure to assist with Papers*
In some cases where *The Predator and *The Vulnerable individuals live together…….
The vulnerable gets threatened like::::::::::::if you refuse to leave me, or my house, I will call awon imm++g%ti@% for you!
Many Vulnerable naijas diaspora* who had experienced, or are experiencing the scenario-above! usually suffer major mental, psychological, emotional distress, agony and fear of going back to square-one, or going into shadows-of-hiding from the System.
WHAT A SHAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Black Community need to start supporting and *Making one another…. *Not Breaking each other.
SAY IT LIKE IT IS* is an eye-opener!
Good motivational platform!
Weldone BRUV and God bless!
There is no way the man's papers will be cancelled. No country in Europe will withdraw a spouse's residence permit just because it did not work out between you two. To make matters worse for you, you both have young children together. Most EU countries will keep the man in the country to help pay for the kid's upbringing.
Papers are not withdrawn to spite someone and give you revenge or satisfaction. Not gonna happen.
Girl if you are reading this, don't go forward with your revenge as its not going to make things better it will only make it worse especially if he's a very good Dad. Just cut your losses and move on the best revenge you can give is being a stand up mum to your kids and move on with your life. Your hurt will heal your crying will stop. Just let him go and be the best Co parenting as you both can do. As the kids will need there Dad around trust me, as I said before especially if he's a great Dad. Don't listen to friends and family about revenge as that will never work long term. Just heal hun, and love on. And this advise is coming from a mum a wife and someone who was once in this situation before. Please don't listen to bad advice by ingronace friends and families.
It's very unfortunate but sometimes that is how life is. She should decide what she wants and then go scorched earth to achieve it. She has children so they should be her first consideration. God has a way of paying evil back and he will definitely get his.
He told you he doesn't love you so, let him go! But he must pay for the keeps of his children perhaps, one day you will grow up and seek a man that truly loves and wants to be with you, perhaps!
It doesn't pay jumping into bed with a man just because of your understanding of "Girls' Power" and now, who is crying obviously, not him. Like many others – you have been left holding the babies
and thus, planning wicked revenge that will one day backfire and there's no need to do that when you have children by him. One day his children will remind you of this wickedness you have in mind right now (hope you don't act it out!) So, let go and leave it for God! Every disappointment is a Blessing in disguise.
Quite objective Phranklin, hard pill to swallow but it is the way it is. She needs to move on.
Those children worth more than the permit, move on.
Based on my experience sex or money never builds into love. You can't buy love with money, sex, papers or anything else. It comes naturally. I've never seen fuck buddies who lasted long enough. The definition of love is enough for anyone to make their own judgement. In my opinion,you both used each other….now deal with the consequences together.
I dont think she would win even if she calls the immigration. secondly so long kids are in involved in the marriage the guy is very much saved in status wise.
Let the woman give you an access to talk to the guy because a coin has two sides, some women would like to control you simply because they gave you documents, likewise some men, until we hear from both sides, I can't totally stand by the woman because she must have a fault too.
i have been in this position over 25 years ago i married a non EU citizen from nigeria he just deceived me for the 4 years we where married i supported his arse for the duration and before paying for his visa flights becoz i loved him with all my heart and all the while he just wanted brit citizen ship took me for a right idiot i wanted to do the same but i thought karma will get to him and i left it at that still hurts that someone you loved was just using you, as a direct result of that i will not get my self involved with a non EU citizen i hope she can find piece
Your response is unbiased and matured. I know of a guy casually came from 9ja, he got a girlfriend who had one kid, she later had another making 2. He said they both agreed to have only that until more financially stable. She got pregnant twice again that's 4 kids a guy just 31, she lied about d iud. Now this his works 75 hours a week takes care of 4 kids and she doesn't let him send money home. He told me that his dad deprived his younger ones by selling only land to send him abroad. Now 6 years dad is in dept siblings are suffering back in d village while his foreign wife keeps him on a leash. Guess what? As soon as he got his papers which he was supposed to get 2 years earlier took a long time because she thought keeping him on a leash will make him stay, he left her. Now it was wrong while I didn't know her personally I begged him not to do it. He said he was going to marry a 9ja girl and I should watch how he will elevate. Within 2 years this guy built a home for his dad, now building his own, succeeded in bringing his brother over here. All in the space of 2 years and half. There is always 2 sides to the story. That is not to say some of these men aren't heartless.
Awwww… as much reporting can be vindictive or whatever pple like to call it. Men should be able to think of the consequences of their actions before taking it. Recent reports have also deterred some men from taking such arranged steps, which is good. Some still go ahead to take them. I dare say while not all women will react this way, women reacting have helped to put some men in check.
With all due respect men can be very logical, some selfish as they think about their present needs most times… however on the average women can be very emotional which when in a good atmosphere can be very vulnerable. If the woman thinks she is used then she is probably used, how she goes through her healing process and intend to react to it is solely her responsibility. She has kids whether she gives him the paper or not , she is going to be a single mother and would be responsible for the kids. The man doesnt need papers to take care of his kids. The gift from the marriage are the kids and he should go ahead and do this. If he never loved her then his only true love who he has met or about to meet will come to his aid.
Woman, move on forgive him, report him if you have to… carry your cross and move on. Now that is being logical… no emotions involved…
Saying dont report him , think about the children is trying to play on a womans emotions. The man should have thought about that before now. He didnt have to impregnate her if he never loved her. You didnt have to put kids in it…
If she didnt plan to stay it wont hurt her that much.
…raising another line of thought. These issues happen everyday and it hurts irrespective of the color of the skin of the woman they do this too.
Sorry what's "Friends with Benefits "???? Why is she trippin?
He doesn't loved you and he has spoken his mind. Many Homes are facing same problem.
Wise man you spoke about Dads not being present.She is creating that.what do you tell the kids where dad is.
Why is the woman wasting time? in her shoes I'd have called immigration earlier even formulate some lies against him to be thrown in jail , what is wrong with these men sef tchueh!!!
God will deal with the man personally and quickly until he changes his way. What kind of nonsense is this. That’s just wicked o. After she Two kids and he now wants to talk nonsense. Some men r very wicked. How can he just want to leave. I can’t even comment anymore. The man is too wicked. She should just pray and let God direct her.
Women need to hear the harsh truth. She caused all this on her own. The decisions you make today will affect you tomorrow. From the beginning, you were friends with benefits. Not a girlfriend, no nothing. Just friends that have sex. No feelings, no commitment involved. You were a booty call. So already the foundation of that relationship is terrible but you expect perfect results. It does not work that way. You have children to a man who barely saw you as girlfriend material. That man only married you for the kids sake but he realized I don’t like this women. And he really didn’t want kids with her and bounced. And honestly that is what she gets. Play stupid games you win stupid prizes. Women these days draft niggas into fatherhood. Shit the first sperm that fertilizes the egg is going to be the father of the child. That backward ass thinking has cost so many children the life of a stable two parent, loving household. Then when the mother and children’s lives are fucked up she now wants to play the victim as if she did not have a choice in who her kids father would be or actually not having the children at all. Now she teaches her kids to play the victim and not accept responsibility and the cycle continues. Women can be soooo disgusting at times I swear. Greed, attention, manipulation, control and pride consume the heart of a lot women. As for giving him papers, again thats what her dumb ass get. count your loses, move tf on and let them kids see their father. You’ve already fucked up as a mother for not allowing your children to be raised in a loving environment with both parents because you couldn’t tell the difference between an actual relationship and a friend with benefits situation. Now you are hurt and left desolate and you wanna punish your children. Retarted as woman jare.
Stop buying love with papers!
Excellent points Franklin, sadly to say the marriage had no foundation from the start. Sex is not a foundation for marriage. Regardless, I wish her well. Heartbreak is not easy to endure but at the same time you can't be vindictive and punish him. You both knew what it was from the beginning. Peace.
Hey Phrankleen, I don't think she has a case even with the immigration approach she's considering. The onus is on her to prove that the marriage was a sham. After two kids & a few years in the marriage she would have to prove beyond reasonable doubt to convince the judge or jury depending on where she's at. This lady needs to understand that not all marriages succeed. Besides, this is her version of the story, or atleast her understanding of it, the guy could have a totally different version. It wouldn't surprise me bc it happens all the time.
I think your take on it is valid,✌ best for her to move on & accept that not all marriages/rship succeed regardless of immigration status. She should worry more about the kids welfare at this stage, and hopefully allow the kids maintain a good r-ship with their father as long as there's no history of domestic violence or any form of physical abuse on record. It's unfortunate she had to go through this, but we wish her well.
Negative Foundation
The problem began from jumping from 'friends with benefits' into marriage. Looks like they wanted different things. She made an error of judgment. Bitterness is not the way, sisi. It's hard but do your best to move on. If he's a good father, let him stay in the country for his kids. You may end up punishing them too.
Witchcraft and demonic attack.
While I don’t agree with such things Phrankleen, I must say your Nigerian men are a difficult bunch. Very Narcissistic and too proud or stubborn to change. It’s a mess for their women to deal with. I’m not bashing, I love Nigeria, Nigerians and some of the culture. But your men, your “Kings” come with a lot of baggage. I wonder what in your country makes some of them lazy, some of them are quick to live off a women, counting her money as their own. So much surprises me as an American women.
I don't know why people are so angry about their decision. I don't know why so many people are so HYPOCTITE. I believe this Poster knew this would happen and kept on giving birth to him and went for the marriage. Why would u wish him such a thing by revoking his visa? To me, it's act of WICKEDNESS. Though, it would be very good to hear the side of the story of the GUY…….