Parental Jealousy is tearing my life apart…
Parental Jealousy is tearing my life apart…
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My father revealed how he really felt about me New Year's Eve of 2023.
He coated it with "Im saying this becuz ur mother 'stepmother' and i love u" the moment he said that i knew it was BS. That man offloaded idk how many months or years of what he really thinks of me.
I thank God that He exposed how this man really is, the mask he had on for so long finally came off. And the crazy thing is that this man did not contribute financially, emotionally or in any way shape or form in my upbringing. I am the one who made the decision to include him in my life ….i think he got it twisted thinking that he got some "god" complex in my life.
With all the things that man said…. no contact is necessary with immediate effect 🙏🏾
And they love to point finger at the bible or God for their behavior as if a righteous God would condone or agree to wickedness.
Thanks for speaking up…makes me realise i do hv community…amongst people like me
I appreciate this piece of advice, it’s whole lot…
I agree with you.
It is true…. some parents are VERY evil, whether they are successful in their life or not. Some have attained their portion in life BUT do not want to see a child progress…???a control thing I guess.
My parents destroyed my family the wife that I was married to and my kids just to make me a financial slave I tried to take my business for me and all they work for him their jealousy made me hate them and all what they stand for I was a good son for 30 years of my life my parents was arrested by the FBI and use me for welfare money in the USA as a kid I was always a financial tool And not a son never wanted to interact with me with love and kindness but just with me into being a slave and got jealous of me and my wife and my children because we was better off I was too blind to see I feel bad that they’re like that and feel bad for the children and a divorce that was caused by this if I only knew what I know now remember always seek God for help
PHRANKLEEN ……YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY BANG ON MAN ! 100 % BANG ON !
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY SOME CHILDREN MURDER THEIR PARENTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have finally told my story.
Maltreating when Ur doing all U can to support😅😅😅 love from Australia bro Its at the point where now they just gone keep playing the victim till the real victim is broken peices of glass
These parents see their children as investments for the benefit of the parents only instead of contributing to build the children up. Very sad, very toxic. It is good that this “psychological abuse” is recognized for what it is.
Some parents are actually well-educated, high- achievers, but still compete with their children.
They are Toxic and Narcissistic, yes….I totally agree with that bit!
Like they still want to hug the success stage, even as Octogenarians. It's like they don't want any child to acquire any iota of recognition or success comparable to their parents own.
Won fe lo Iyi Omo won, mo ti tiwon ni??! Why????
Then, you also have some Parents who are just using their children as Cash Cows, gimme gimme gimme. Send money, send money…. that's all they want, they have no regard for your wellness or wellbeing.
And then they encourage sibling quarrels & rivalry so they can squeeze more money out of all of you while knocking all your heads together. Sad!!
Thank you
I am presently experiencing narcissism from one of my parents.’
True!!!!
Some parents are just too entitled
My dad is already hinting us how he wants a monthly from us and My brother just started his career this month, he didn’t even get paid yet. He wants to have a meeting with us this weekend. What is the best to tell him no because we are not giving him allowance? He works and make more than each one of us but send all his money to Nigeria so he is always broke.
People need to think different investigate the matter then approach because these ppl in Africia and in the world are different in thinking they will kill u then still have rights.
Most African parents expect their children to sort them out financially first before embarking on anything for oneself. They feel it’s their entitlement to give them your first salary or first land or first house- infact first anything before you plan for yourself 😏
My grandparents have acres of land but their children moved to the city, instead of straying on the land and build. People chase money. They sell their land and homes for money, spends the money and are left with nothing but have to work for the system to survive. People had a choice and they chose the devils system. People are so gullible and easily tempted that give in and give up what tangible lifestyle for an artificial one. They dream of the American, Canadian, and European lifestyle, then complain when it does not go our way. They created that system for themselves and rigged it against some of us. You have everything but realize until its too late. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way. Some of us don't want to give up the lifestyle but it comes at a cost.
My life story
my father the moment he realised we had assimilated well in the UK, spent the most of my youth emotionally and mentally tearing me and my brother apart, whilst at the same time chastising us over why we were underachieving at school…without even seeing the corollation.
I endured the torment until one day he publicly humiliated me on a bus, upon seeing how much hurt he'd caused, I've never seen this man soo happy to see me that broken. That was the day I ended my relationship with him…..we recently found out about some shocking news about him, and all I can think is you had the audacity and deceitfulness to torment us knowing the skeletons in your closet….my children will never suffer that torment
Phrankleen, you better PREACH!!! My parents, especially my mother is very narcissistic. She always wanted me to fail and beg them. They never came to college graduation, never helped or offered to help pay for my schooling. Now that I havea good job and living in better place, they feel like their are obligated, by default, to also enjoy my successes. The success that when I was aspiring to have, they would laugh and talk about me negatively. But they have a useless son who has never worked a day in his life and he is 33 yrs old, never finished school after my father paid thousands for his own education. Smh. But I truly believe my mother is jealous of my sense of independence and self sufficiency because she does not have that. Very codependent. I decided to remove them from my life completely and I have been in peace. And it is not only Nigerian parents (I'm also Nigerian) but it happens to a lot of black Americans here and they call it black tax.
They say family first but family is the first to hurt you.
This Episode was really good. U were straight to the point and serious. I like this. 💖
No surprises here. Parents and children all fished from the same gene pool of hatred, dislike and selfishness
Blurry video or my network is acting up.
Dear Phrankleen, you just spoke out of my heart really. I went through this myself. After spending almost 30 yrs in the Diaspora, I told my mother that I will like to come back and settle down in Naija. My mother was not happy, she increased her bad mind games towards me, but I have completely stopped her now and she is going around talking bad about me. I really don't care, I am just grateful to the Living God Jehovah, that I can free myself from such a system. Only Jehovah is worthy of our RESPECT, HONOR AND WORSHIP and also have a awesome fear for and not a dreadful fear like our parents demand. Thanks for giving many brothers and sisters here an enlightening course, I hope they will listen and also try to free themselves from the system. Stay healthy and remain blessed, Victor
I am beginning to wonder if loving families do exist in sub Saharan Africa.
For everyone dealing with narcissistic parents, family members, spouses, partners, or people in general, I strongly recommend the following YouTube channels:
– Soul GPS
– The Royal We
– The Little Shaman
– Permission To Exist
– Self-Care Haven
There are many more others. Just find the one that resonates with you. Recommended BOOKS: Toxic parents; Will I ever be good enough; Books by the author Shahida Arabi; Books by the author Susan Forward. There are many other books out there as well.
Please know that you're dealing with mentally and emotionally ill people. NPD is a severe mental illness. They will never change. The kinder you are to them, the more you will be abused. You can only heal yourself by cutting off contact and seeking therapy. Oh and please, don't let people shove forgiveness down your throat. And also know that forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same. The Bible says forgive your enemies. It DID NOT SAY STAY WITH YOUR ENEMIES. Abusive people always want to merge these two things and shove it down your throat. Unforgiveness is not a bad thing. Let your unforgiveness become your inner fire that will drive you to leave these people. The only person you need to forgive and heal immediately is YOURSELF.
I read all the comments on this topic and as a parent of three boys, I feel deeply sad at these ugly experiences concerning the same people who brought us into this world and who should be our priceless assets.
I had told my wife, we will raise our children because it is our natural responsibility to do so, not with the notion of ( return on investment ). This notion is the foundation of all these ugly developments.
I am lucky to have good parents, not without the usual overbearing influences but my relationship with my parents is extremely cordial with some " no go areas ", as soon as we get to those topics, I simply shut down and end the discussion.
I keep my personal affairs, finances, and marriage away from family intrusion ( strictly private ) while protecting my sanity with everything I have, this requires the cooperation of couples.
Most times we sell ourselves out because we refuse to grow up by telling too much about ourselves which invariably provides an incentive for these ugly developments.
The fewer information people have about you, the less intrusion they have into your life.
I'm crying watching this video, i feel so empty like i have no one in my life, when you send them money, they are happy with you, and if you don't you're an enemy, i'm suffering from depression praying for death, i don't need anything but true love from the people that i love
Funny enough my dad mistreated my mum till n to death, he is polygamous but l dtill try to help him financially sometimes cos my dad has enough money he has pension n lots of tenants. He started complaining the money l sent is not enough becox he has his wife to care for too. So l told him the money l send is 4 him alone n l asked him if my mum was there he got really outraged and said l should not cry when he dies n l should stop sending him money, l was overjoyed he helped me without knowing. He disgust me for sending my mother to heaven with 42
African mindset is to go after your children's things . While other people in the world build and leave property and wealth for the next generation
Thank you Phrankleen for doing these type of discussions. It's great for our own mental health and psychological well-being. At least l get to know I am not the only one who goes through so much of the manipulation and stresses caused by our fellow African Parents / Siblings.
Without the know how of other people experiencing such, one can end up depressed or having a stroke alone with their silent thoughts.
For me this platform is therapeutic.🙏😇
God Bless. ❤️😇
Very true. Learnt the hard way
This is toxicity. Parents are supposed to be guardians and not competitors. They have already lived their lives and should allow us their offspring to build for future generations. That's the normal cycle of parenthood not the selfish manipulatory tactics. It's pure evil. All in the name of control.