My Partner Is Getting Fat & My Love Is Conditional ๐Ÿ‘€ // #DearStumbleWell

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Hallease

Joined: May 2024
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My Partner Is Getting Fat & My Love Is Conditional ๐Ÿ‘€ // #DearStumbleWell


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In this, #DearStumbleWell episode of the podcast weโ€™re discussing working through body changes with a long-term partner. Why is it considered shallow to end aโ€ฆ

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22 Comments

  1. I think LTL needs to do some introspection on their own fatphobiaโ€ฆ i know you can't fake how your body responds to your partner's, but there's plenty you can change with your thinking. Society is geared to hate fat people. And studies show that the correlation between fatness and ill health is often far exaggerated โ€“ often times ill health is produced by the medical system that doesn't treat fat people well. It's not necessarily biological but rather structural. Good luck to both the caller and their partner

  2. I hope you two are keeping up with your calisthenics. I was also thinking, for Chris' cardio, do the full body routine, but just do back to back, no rest, 1 min per exercise.

  3. 37:19 I watched a video related to this on the Coach Viva channel. Basically, once the body adapts to the meal plan, you have to increase calories slightly for a short period to kick it out of the plateau, then go back to the reduction. On that note, the best gains come from switching up fitness routines when your gains plateau.

  4. 30:06 I hate that, though. Women shouldn't be afraid of gaining muscle. Women who are natty fit are amazingly beautifulโ€ฆ. It's the women on gear who are giving natty muscle mamas a bad rap. Society needs to drop this bs about femininity being small and weak.

  5. Really enjoyed this episode! The concept of "bodily autonomy" came to mind as I listened to y'all discuss LTL's predicament. It is true that you're allowed to have an ideal vision of how your partner looks, but at the end of the day it's your partner's body, and they are allowed to do with it whatever they please (as are you), and whether or not you stick around for what they do is your choice. Personally, I think LTL is using their partner's weight gain to hide behind some of their own internal conflicts about their body, and it's easier to call out their partner's weight gain than to confront the personal issues within themselves. I hope when LTL does talk with their partner, they lead with love and compassion rather than judgment or frustration. Looks are important in a relationship, but I'd like to think that true love runs deeper than appearance, but that's just my take.

  6. 18:01 Love can't be unconditional because what if the partner is a psychopath or a narcissist or just generally wicked? There has to be conditions for a relationship to be healthy, but in the case of physical appearance, that would be shallow, unless LTL got married for the wrong reasons and their partner's weight gain is bringing that realization.

  7. I wouldnโ€™t bother getting married if your spouseโ€™s appearance would lead you to end the marriage because literally everyoneโ€™s appearance changes over time. The love, connection and intimacy has to be more than skin deep.

  8. The amount of questions I have about this situation is staggering. No mention of which partner, no mention of actual lifestyle details, no mention of possible ways they help. Has the partner seen a doctor, is anything medical ruled out, what do they do for a living. This is fishy and without information I'd say OP is YTA.