Millennials and Gen Z Going “No Contact” with Parents
Millennials and Gen Z Going “No Contact” with Parents
People are sharing what led them to go #nocontact with their parent(s) #parenting #genz #millennials
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I really want to go no contact with my dad. He gaslights, manipulative, sexual harassment, enjoys starting fights (Emotional and Physical), he purposely pits his own children against one another, lies, takes no countability, constantly blames, physically beats his own children, and so much more. But I'm stuck living with him and paying his fucking bills.
This reminds me of men being “blindsided” when women leave terrible relationships. Entitled people are just gonna entitle.
I went no contact with both of my sisters. One of the best things I have ever done. Wish I had done it earlier.
It never fails to amaze me how lazy these parents are. Most of us want a relationship with them but can’t have it because they’re bad for our health. All they ever had to do was hear us out and understand how they hurt us. Instead, we’re the villains for walking away from another fight. We’re bad for not crawling back into their thorny-rose bush embrace and sobbing pleas to their egos. Theyll say anything to hurt us, but nothing to show they actually care.
So sad this parents never looked i to therapy. So many would have changed. I m a therpist and i have made them aware of thier behaviors and some do have it within themselves to change. I have done it. And so many parents have chNge.
It's Interesting That You Would Say Millennials. I'm A So Called Boomer. My Parents Were In "Survival Mode. They Hardly Communicated With Each Other. God Forbid If They Got Together For More Than They Thought Each Other Were Good Looking. Wow, Alcoholic Father Mean Never Praised My Father For Anything He Did. Kept Us Daughters In The Dark About Most Every Ugly Thing Life Could Be That We Were Attacked With. Never Encouraged Education Except To The Youngest. Even Though I Didn't Go MIA I Didn't Visit That & More On My Children. I Talked To Them Like The Knowledgeable, Young Independant Adultes They Would Be. I Put My Big Girl Panties On And Truly Apologized For Mistakes I Made That Affected Their Lives. They Love Me So Much & Keep In Contact With Me. I Just Said I Know You Have Your Own Lives To Live. At Least Contact Me Once A Month To Let Me Know Your Alright. They Do More Than That. It Hasn't Been Easy. I Spoke Of My Immaturity & Lack Of Knowledge. They Respect Me For The Unvarnished TRUTH. i Wished I Would Have Done Some Things Differently, But I Have No Regrets.. I Was And Continued To Be So Far From Perfect. The Most Wonderful Blessing Is Their Forgiveness…No Cap💜 P. S. I Got Into Therapy Myself. Mom Tried To Talk Me Out Of It. I Had To Remind He…"I Am NOT YOU And I Am NOT A Shamed. To Ask For Help.
As a kid who has gone no contact with a parent I have to say this: cutting out a toxic person from your life can be a healthy choice. You don't owe anyone your peace! And to the person at work who judged me for doing so, I say this; I am so happy that your family is good and trauma free. But don't expect everyone to mirror your life experience.
I would rather be respectful by staying away than being disrespectful for the disrespect given 😢😢😢
Im happy that my kids are not speaking to me. My kids are spoiled, violent, and simple-minded. A college graduate and business owner. No slouches. All of which that I want nothing to do with. I haven't cried once, and I dont kiss butt. You children are the problem. My granddaughter loves me. I have more than 1 grandchild. The others were tainted. My granddaughter knows that her mom is a joke. Therapy will be at 7-11 soon. Help yourself, stop waiting for others to solve your problems. Stop placing blame.
Newsflash I’m a genx and have been to therapy for myself and chose to go no contact with my father and sister but I also chose not to have kids because my family was all over the place so maybe in the exception to rule
Parents were most likely raised by narcissistic parents.
Genx tapping in I went no contact with my boomer parent I completely understand why this happens people have to understand DNA makes you family however family are people and are capable of anything that someone who is not it's tough but for your own mental health if going no contact is the choice your left with you must.
Imagine what is being taught to their children! They won’t know what hit them when their kids go no contact
Some people go no contact over the stupidest shit tho. Then people romanticize trauma. I deny trauma even effects me, but i am surprised everytime when people go through way less & come out worse.
36F and I told my parents I would attend group counseling, but I would not meet with them privately because of how they operate. I'm still waiting for them to accept my offer and it's been 4 years. I consider myself parentless now.
Parents act like going no contact hit them out of the blue. Rarely is going no contact the response to one incident rather it is a lifetime of futile attempts at setting boundaries against abusive behaviour only to see the parent violate them time and time again and blame you for their disrespect. People who have never experienced narcissistic abuse from parents don't understand that going no contact is not a spur of the moment decision or anyone's first option, rather it is the last resort, you have tried everything else to address the abusive behaviour and finally realise that for your own sanity and safety you must remove these people from your life
I explained again and again what my contact boundaries were, emphasizing what I needed from her in order to resume a relationship, and how far it would go towards healing my trauma, which resulted from a pattern of codependancy and blindness to danger that started in childhood, in the years before and after she got sober… every time it was like she was hearing it for the first time, every time instead of engaging in any examination or ownership was like "oh sweetie just let it go" and I'm like I AM TRYING TO DO THAT WOMAN.
I think it was over two years of this before I went no contact for my own mental health. Three years after that she died.
Every question I ever had about the circumstances of my childhood were answered by being the executor of her estate.I don't know why she was unable to view her messiest and most unhinged years from the perspective of a small child living alone with her, before her "recovery narrative" began.It was terrifying ESPECIALLY in the years after she got sober. To her, she had made her amends to me when I was 12, the year she got sober, and gaslit me about everything else.
The last five years of her life did not have to be that way – my understanding, empathy and forgiveness was available to her, and I wanted to offer it more than anything.Finding it by myself years after her death is a pyrrhic victory, which I would trade in a heartbeat for her trying her best to talk honestly with me, or respecting low contact boundaries set in an effort to be healthy and reduce harm, even done imperfectly… it was patiently explaining them to her again and again while she was bewildered and dismissive at the same time that nearly made me lose my mind.
RIP Mary.- may the new "trend" be parents who do not necessitate no contact decisions in the first place.
I’m a millennial, I’m the one who always misses get togethers, birthday & holiday parties, I don’t engaged at all. The amount of times, family & friends have had the nerve to point fingers at me, blame me for going no contact. Judging based on whatever my mom tells them. Not once, asked my side…this year, my mom went to the hospital & called everyone because “it was her last”…🙄 Nothing is wrong with her…
No, contact with both parents.
I’m on year TEN of ZERO contact with MY ENTIRE FAMILY. A mother a father and four older brothers, their wives and their kids, my cousins, my aunts my uncles. When I’m done, I’m done – try me.
That couple at 11:00 is crazy annoying.
Imagine being such a bad parent, that the only thing they care to know about you is when you're dead.
10:30 SMART COUPLE, don't let them ruin your kids!
Imagine thinking you own someone for life because they conceived you in a drunken hookup. GET REAL😅😅😅
You wanted kids to been seen not heard, now you don't get either. FIX YOURSELF APOLOGIZE before it's too late!
This is definitely some Yt people activities.
13:31 same💯 I absolutely hate that day.
3:52 e x a c t l y preach! She refused so goodbye 👋🏽
0:19 I haven't spoken to my mom since 2018.. pls I needed peace and to stop being gaslighted. Fake love isn't worth it.
Late Gen X is doing the same…maybe not a total “cutoff” but definitely creating healthy boundaries ❤
Of course you prefer your kids when they were young they can’t do or say anything smh
I am a millennial and I am lc to nc w my parents. They dont love me and actions speak louder then words and they have shown me over and over they dont gaf about their own daughter.
The fact is a lot of parents are extremely manipulative and orchestrating, particularly mothers. When their kids are growing up, instead of teaching their child how to be independent and self sufficient, they’re quick to do everything for their child. It makes them seem like such a good parent, but really it’s just laying the groundwork for later manipulation. They use money, things, and other forms of emotional blackmail to keep their kids in line and make them feel obligated to do certain things or to think a certain way.
“If you don’t stop dating her, I won’t pay for college.” “Your dad and I are paying for this wedding, the least you could do is invite your toxic grandmother.” “Of course we’ll give you the down payment for your 1st house,” meanwhile unannounced visits become the norm. As you get older, and especially after having your own kids, you look back at how you were raised and begin to see those things truly done out of love and those things masked as love, but were really about control. Some people see it and feel the need to reset hence the temporary or permanent distancing. Some are well aware, but the benefits outweigh the negatives, so they maintain the status quo. While others continue to perpetuate the cycle 🔄 onto the next generation.
Not a trend and far from natural. Last resort, really sad. I tried over and over and just cannot. Gen X here. I would love to have Father…who wouldn’t.
A therapist told me once that she would go to local nursing homes and there would be residents who had children, but their children wouldn’t see them. The therapist could read between the lines – she said There’s a reason for no contact
I found the clickers a bit strange with that one couple. It’s indicative that they may be a little off in the way they’ve perceived things.
I don’t like this cutting people off business, it’s weak willed and narcissistic in many cases, (not all) while it can be necessary in some situations, it’s abusive in others imo. Like that couple speaking about how the grandparents weren’t pleased about their pregnancy so they went no contact, and the grandparents desperately tried to regain contact, my heart broke for those grandparents, there’s so many reasons to have misgivings concerning bringing a child into the world, I can understand the couple being upset but that’s not a good reason to entirely cut the grandparents out of the picture, it’s sickening really. Too many expect model parenting from human beings who simply aren’t always capable of it and it’s terribly ungrateful to cut out people who’ve sacrificed so much because they are broken or less than satisfactory, none of us are perfect, I hope anyone who does this to their parents realises the model they are setting their own children