HUSBAND WANTS ME TO STAY AT HOME AND RAISE THE KIDS OR ELSE…

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Phrankleen

Joined: Mar 2024
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HUSBAND WANTS ME TO STAY AT HOME AND RAISE THE KIDS OR ELSE…


HUSBAND WANTS ME TO STAY AT HOME AND RAISE THE KIDS OR ELSE…
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56 Comments

  1. She could have, or can do work online from home. He didn't have to know about it bc she's home with the kids every day. "Yes," he is a very stubborn man and that's what hindering her and crushing his ego. The competition is also what eating him. He is so afraid of losing, he doesn't realize that he has already lost now the "family is destroyed, by his own hands."

  2. The husband deceived the wife into agreeing to be a full time housewife. Heis also very selfish and has low self esteem! There are many jobs the wife can do that can match her house work & care of the children.

    The fact that he cannot even meet her financisl needs is most annoying!
    Apart from money, she needs the work activity for her self fulfilment.

  3. Aye yaye yaye yaye yaye!!!!!! Teaching women to be dodging???!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Nigga PaLeeeeeze!!!! We women got the game and GONE!!! Women:Circles:Dementia… just don’t try, o. Liye liye! Cheeeew! We will pieces u o…🤣🤦🏽‍♀️🔥🔥🔥

  4. Husband was gaslighting because he was losing control. Wifey did a very wonderful thing in moving towards seeing the sun. I absolutely love that She maintained respect for her husband, but I feel that something was seriously amiss. Possibly, husband had ulterior motives??? Nonetheless, I would have supported my husband until I learned otherwise. At that point, as an African American woman, we would have had to discuss sum shyt and work sum thangs awt… I love my husband and I respect him to the utmost. I am ride or die, but I will absolutely not accept fukery. In Black America, we say Come correct or stay at home. Biddness is Biddness, and bullshyt is bullshyt… PERIOD. 🤷🏽‍♀️💯

  5. Full time housewife here. People say, the wife should relieve him, he shouldn't work so much as if housewife is about bubble baths and champagne 😃. But in this video, it sounds like they're struggling financially.
    The main challenge African marriages face is the fact that we have no idea of the purpose of marriage. These two have separate minds. They should be sitting down and planning what they need and how to get there.

  6. Nothing is more enjoyable than your own money, no Matter how big or small. That fulfillment and financial independence reduces frustration and stirs dreams and aspirations. A lot of people who gave up their financial freedom come to regret at a certain age. People complain of their Jobs, businesses etc ,take it away from them ,they lose focus and become frustrated. You need finance, going with current trends to grow as a human, staying indoors with set you backwards and you rarely get back into the market. Please tell a woman what you want before you marry her, don't come bringing in rules that will destroy the marriage. Many people can't sit their asses down, their brain would go haywire and burst.

  7. She should definitely pursue employment. There plenty of couples that work esp when kids are alittle older. It’s will ease the financial burden on him and she will be much happier earning.

  8. There is nothing wrong in her staying at home to care for the kids if there is an agreement between both of them.
    She can alway go back to work later. I stayed home for 11 years to take care of my 3 kids. They were born so close to each other and there was no way we could afford a nanny or child care for the 3 of them at the time. Sometimes I worked evenings, nights until I was able to go back to work in a professional capacity. If the husband is earning enough what is bad in staying at home to care for the kids. It could be the husband who stays at home if the wife earns more money.

  9. I can understand where he is coming from with they way some kids whose parents just work and have no time for them. And as long as he can and ready to pay all the bills and also give you monthly personal allowance. But why not let you get a part-time job for your own self esteem? It shouldn't all be about what he wants. I dislike that mentality if he is insisting. It should be about sitting down and discussing stuffs. Gone are days when you just bark out orders and the woman jumped! It should be about mutual respect and understanding.

  10. Insecurity is killing many men. A lady whose husband doesn't make a lot of money yet, he is refusing his wife to work has ulterior motives. They usually take another wife later an the wife at home will not know how to start anything should she decides to go. Asking her husband for money to buy bra, pant or perfume etc is very demeaning. Women needs to stand up an stop all these nonsense.from the men. Empower yourself because you are the first picture your children look at. Have only the numbers of children you can comfortably maintain should the guy ask for divorce, he may not though. Always plan for uncertainty as some men past history has never been kind to women. Don't get fool.

  11. Even if he told her the breakdown of his earning , she might not really grasp it because of the cultural and social differences between Nigeria and UK, she might be looking at 200 pounds based on the exchange rate and think it’s a lot of money but when get here you realize it’s not enough.

  12. Marriage is about joining forces together. Clearly the husband does not view his wife as his equal. I would suggest that the woman looks for a working from home job at least for her mental health.

  13. I dint know why men dont want their wife to wrk. Me if my wife is fr working i will look fr a job for her myself. If she needs 3 jobs am for it. It would make life eazy for us all. Life is expensive in d west. I cant be doin all the wrk and she is to seat there and complain. If she is a house wife evil will come in.

  14. Why didn’t her father ask more questions? Why didn’t he truly examine his income? What is the purpose of arranged marriages, if even the basics aren’t being checked? Basic income level of at least 150k yearly, STI panel, good character and humorous disposition. This is simple and a start. I think the go back because they know women in their region wouldn’t even marry them!

  15. This is not enough money… If her needs aren’t being met, than she’s going to want to work. If he would go get more education or start a business earning more, this will never be a problem.

  16. £300 allowance a month. Jesus that’s nothing. Doesn’t she shop and buy clothes? Makeup? One spa/facial session is £80. Won’t she do her hair? I envy women who can exist without luxury sha. They are trying. Even a nice coach bag is about £300. Money don finish o 😭😭

  17. Babanla False Assurance indeed! Great analysis as always! Marriage goals SHOULD CHANGE FOR BETTER along the years. Marriage goals does not stay on the SAME LEVEL especially when a woman sees the potential of increasing the family income! So he makes enough money that he comes back to COLLECT BACK FROM HER??? Is that not a WEAK LINK in the FAMILY FINANCES? So she is expected to suffer with the children at home while he works himself to death/depression? Let's use logic, please.

    What if anything happens to him ? How would they all survive? Raising children is NOT the ONLY LIFE PURPOSE of a WOMAN. She must be able to also HELP her family income ESPECIALLY IF THE HUSBAND IS NOT RICH which is the main crux here! She should have created a Youtube channel to show the world how they cope on his salary alone if he was so bent that she should never have any worklife outside the home. But never blame a woman who really wants to help increase the family income.

    Children raised in palaces still aren't perfect. The proof of raising children is in the VALUES that BOTH PARENTS CAN TEACH THEIR CHILDREN but the environment children have access to can throw good parents into wahala. So this shouldn't cause a REAL MAN to destroy the family with a SENSELESS divorce! If he can't have her as his commodity-slave, he wants to destroy her! Dear Uncle(the husband), repent from your village-wicked ways! Even village women go to the farm and market and have some bargaining power! E koshi danu sinu trash can. Thanks bro!💯🎯

  18. Being housewife is not a problem rather the problem has to do with ambition and understanding of the needs of the other party in a relationship abinitio. You are not being neutral here. Commodification is reflected in your analysis by thinking that earning an income is in itself a goal in life. This story and relationship is fraught with misunderstanding. No generalisation based on reductionism please. There are some many housewives in UK amongst the Caucasians. Honesty is the keyword.

  19. People Need to understand that is not possible to tell another individual not to pursue their dreams or dictate how they live their life. If you can’t accept this fact then don’t put yourself in a position where people will use you because once they get what they want, they will go back to their normal self and purse their aspirations.

  20. Ask why our Nigerian politicians can never use traditional method of oath taking for political office. They know it's very potent. So, they continue to use the Bible and Quran because they know those are not potent and they will get away with all forms of evil.

  21. Bottom line, people evolve. If he expected that because she agreed to stay home with the kids before she travelled, she cannot change her mind and desire more, then his expectations were flawed. Even if he was giving her £2k a month and she decides she wants to work and earn her money, she has a right to that. They can even discuss why she wants to work instead of working from home, because it might not be all about the money sef. If he even says, ok, if you work, you will have to cover the childcare expenses and make sure the kids are well taken care of still, then ok….that even makes sense.

  22. Depending on kids ages, he does have a point temporarily. It would be best if she does a small side hustle while raising their young kids, but once they are self sufficient, she should do whatever she wants to do…

  23. The husband is so self-centered and selfish at the same time. He brought the wife to trap her in the UK system.
    This story is for those African Diasporan Brothers going home to bring a "WIFE" thinking they(the wives) will never change their mindset towards western lives. This is a huge mistake by these brothers.
    However, the husband doesn't seem to reason with the WIFE. So therefore, if the wife has made all the possible way to weigh in positively in her marriage and the husband still insists on his mindset, the WIFE should go ahead with her plan. May God grant her the grace to fulfil her dream…….

  24. if the woman starts work she can get her medical insurance, pension and all other things that can help her in future, she has parents and siblings back home at least she needs to have own money

  25. I cannot believe the people reaching out and being disrespectful regarding Ifa. I could NEVER do such a thing. To insult a person's belief is so ignorant. I mean.. live & let live. And as you always say.. if they don't want to hear it – they should go listen to something else. I am not Nigerian. I am of the Baptist faith. I'm not a "religious nut" and I strongly believe in respecting others' faith & beliefs. I find your discussion of Ifa very interesting and I do intend to learn more about it. Again.. thank you for your educative content. Peace. ✌😊

  26. So the man has two jobs. Meaning he doesn't spend quality time with the kids. And somehow expects the children to turn out well? Have we not learned enough from our parents and grandparents? Both parents should have time to spend with the kids. They have a lot to learn from the Fathers as well. How do they develop a relationship with him if he is working night and day? How will he set them up for the future if he is struggling with one income? Here comes the poverty cycle all over again 🙄

  27. If you can afford to that's the best option anyways for the child. When you allow others to spend to much time with your child they pick up their bad habits. A lot of women would die for the opportunity to be a stay home Mom.

    I have one question if she's a "modern women" the type who has no issues putting herself and what she "feels" she needs above what the husband wants and family, then why did she agree to marry and create offsprings with a traditional man?

  28. I''m an African American woman. I dated a Yoruba man years ago. He asked me if I would marry him and quit my job. I told him I would not.. as I could never depend on anyone for my every need. I explained that at best.. I would need to work part-time and to have my own earnings. He could not accept that.. so we parted ways. Happily.. we remained very good friends. Strictly platonic, of course. A couple of years later he got married. Well.. once his wife was home having babies.. he would be out in the clubs every weekend with various girlfriends/side chicks. I thought this was terrible and I told him so. His response was.. "I'm an African man. I can have as many women as I want". To that I said.. "Oh. Okay then. Well.. I'm glad that we didn't marry. That s**t would never 'fly' with me". He just laughed. They were married for a number of years. Sadly.. he became ill and passed away leaving his wife and two young children. So so sad.
    Love your channel Phrankleen. I am learning so much from you. Your content is so enlightening and educational. Press on. 😊👍 May you be continually blessed with Peace, Good Health & Prosperity.

  29. Fun fact – Epictetus the Greek philosopher spoke about Divination in his book (The Enchiridion) of which I am currently reading. I suggest everyone should research and seek the truth and not Judge Ifa without knowing its true meaning and influence on our culture.

  30. It's not all about only what he wants. This is manipulation and control on his part.
    I know someone whose husband did same thing. She was 100% dependent on him. He did not even allow her to learn how to drive. Years later he became abusive and called her lazy. Well, while he was at work, she learned how to drive and obtaind her license. Then she surprised him one day by telling him she had landed a job. To cut a long story short, there is no more abuse, control and manipulation in that marriage.

  31. phrankleen don't mind all this over religious people. Who were we before the Europeans came to turn our lives upside down. I have believe in the African religion and am proud to associate with my African foundation.

  32. If both are in agreement for the wife to stay at home, initially part time work is a good idea then full time work when the children get older.

    1. For her mental health
    2. She is his help mate and should not be
    forced to earn high salary.
    3. Open conversations abt childcare
    and savings are important.