‘Fraud’ Haaland just a ‘sh*t Van Nistelrooy’ as Man Utd spark worries

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Faraway Floridians

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Erling Haaland gets a kicking as the inquest into Man City v Man Utd continues, with Ruben Amorim’s formation questioned.

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Seven things we learned from the Manchester derby
1. Amad is a must-starter in this team now on the right-hand side, absolutely brilliant performance by him and the only United player alongside Mazrouai & Hoijlund who has shown quality and consistency this season. How Amad didn’t start more under Ole and Ten Hag makes you wonder…

2. It looks like De Ligt, Maguire and Martinez may be the answer regarding the back three in defense. Yes, City didn’t play well in the second half and there attacking players all seem to be out of form, but Maguire in the middle with De Ligt on the right and Martinez on the left seems to be a good balance. Yoro will come in for some games too I presume and needs to be given some chances.

3. Pep is officially dusted lol, and I think it’s clear that the manager and players are aware of the punishment coming their way for the 130 difference charges that will be announced in the new year.

4. Haaland is a fraud, I could name at least 10 other strikers in EPL history that are more of a threat and all around player than him. He’s basically a sh*t Van Nistelrooy who just goal-hangs. He will suit the Championship that’s for sure!

5. Mount is unfortunately made of glass just like Shaw and Malacia. Chelsea really ripped United off in that deal to say the least. Seems to have a good attitude, but can’t stay fit for more than 2-3 games in a row.

6. Rashford is potentially done at United, Garnacho and Amad are younger and look more hungry. The club should seriously consider selling him in the summer given the wages he’s on.

7. Will United and fans alike get carried away by this win and lose/draw their next league game? You bet your life’s savings on it, but seriously it was just one game, so much more work and improvement’s to be done.
Rami, Dubai

MORE ON MANCHESTER DERBY FROM F365
👉 16 Conclusions from Man City 1-2 Man Utd – Amad changes the story, but what if Pep really is done?
👉 Man City and Man Utd are ‘mere vessels for ego and soft power’
👉 Man Utd: Rashford, Garnacho decision influenced by director as Romano reveals ‘consequences’

Slow and steady progress for Man Utd
Two sides in bad form, shouldn’t be a surprise this wasn’t a game decided on swash buckling quality play. However, I do think Utd are making slow but steady progress on their game. While it is still overly cautious and sideways, at least they seem to be getting better and looking a little less uncertain. Wins like this and performances like this from Amad will help bring some confidence back.

One thing I was a little annoyed about was the non-penalty on Dias v Hojlund (less annoyed by the final whistle). While I would previously have agreed with an assessment of not enough contact, Utd actually conceded an almost identical one against West Ham just a few weeks ago. I’d definitely say this one was more a penalty than the West Ham one as Hojlund had some element of having the ball here whereas Ings had not even touched the ball when he was supposedly fouled. Just VAR being VAR I guess, the new normal.

As for City, they just haven zero confidence and zero belief. I think the only thing that will save them is when they’re too far back to be serious contenders for the title. When the pressure is off they’ll probably start spanking a few teams 5-0 and be a good shout for the Champions league. Good to contribute to their continued decline though.

Could this actually be an interesting title race with Liverpool, Arsenal and Chelsea looking pretty serious? It would be good for the Premier League to have some competition for once…
Jon, Cape Town

More Manchester derby conclusions
I know there might not be much appetite for this but I felt there were several points from the game which should have been covered but weren’t. See below more conclusions from the City-Utd game:

* The penalty incident (Dias/Hojlund) left me scratching my head as to how it wasn’t given. Even more perplexing is the lack of coverage it received from commentators and then post-match. Dias came across and got nothing on the ball, yet he took out the man. I am baffled as to how this was not a penalty and Mike Dean’s comments (not in a game like this) left me feeling even more confused. Did I imagine this incident?

* Pep may have signed the 2 year contract back in Nov, but I think he knew the dressing room needed a lift and hoped his extension would give them the shot in the arm they so desperately need. That has not proved to be the case, and I wonder if he has the appetite for this. He has nothing left to prove and has records that will stand the test of time.

* On that ‘re-build’. One of the comments that people make that constantly grinds my gears is that Pep has never had to do a re-build. Arguably the most under rated aspect of Pep’s managerial reign has been how he has rebuilt the side, but because it doesn’t come with a drop off in their performance it seems that people don’t really acknowledge/see it. That is mightily impressive, especially when you consider that many of the other managerial greats (Fergie, Mourinho, Wenger, Busby, Shankly, Clough, Klopp) have struggled to do this.

The likes of Aguero, Toure, D Silva, Kompany, Sterling were all mainstays in previous City XIs but were phased out and replaced with similar quality over the years without any drop off in performance. However, that is dependent on the players coming in finding their feet quickly and therein lies the problem. Over the last few years City’s incomings have not been great (exception is Haaland).

* I do worry about Rueben’s fascination with the 3-4-3. The common consensus is that all systems and formations have their upside and their downside – therefore imagine if he was so strongly wedded to 4-4-2. Commentators, pundits and fans alike would be saying he is out of touch with the demands of the modern game. I would prefer him to show a bit more flexibility as the current squad is not built for 3-4-3. Our midfielders can’t get up and down the pitch and we don’t have any proper wing-backs.

* Here’s my hot take – Phil Foden has peaked. I’m not saying he’s a bad player at all but I think he is very dependent on the side playing a certain brand of football. I think Palmer or Bellingham would still look like brilliant footballers in any time in the league, I’m not so sure about Foden however.

* Last point is on Micah – ffs, get him off the TV. He is not quick enough to analyse a game as it happens and not articulate enough to offer an analysis post-match. He is past his shelf life as a pundit. Having said that, it has been interesting having him on our screens; at times his perspective does shed light on why he didn’t fulfil his potential as a player.

Anyways, I have work to do – keep up the good work F365.
Ibrahim Khalid

What about Walker?
How can you write 16 Conclusions on City-United and not mention the Walker dive? He should have seen red. He should have been booked twice: once for the foul itself, again for the dive. Arguably, it could even have been three times, with another for squaring up to Hojlund.

Is anyone else utterly sick of players throwing themselves on the floor like this? The example it sets for kids is abysmal. If you try to deceive the referee to get a player sent off like this, it should be a straight red and three game ban in my view. Needs to be eradicated from the game entirely.

Also, why on earth wasn’t Nunes booked (at least) for the hack on Amad? Clear example of a professional foul.
Matt, Sheffield

MORE ON MANCHESTER DERBY FROM F365
👉 16 Conclusions from Man City 1-2 Man Utd – Amad changes the story, but what if Pep really is done?
👉 Man City and Man Utd are ‘mere vessels for ego and soft power’
👉 Man Utd: Rashford, Garnacho decision influenced by director as Romano reveals ‘consequences’

Neville wrong on Man Utd
Gary Neville summarised a 2-1 win at the Etihad as “two clubs playing below their level today.” No Gary, with respect, this was one club playing below their level, the other playing out their skin to pilfer their best result of the campaign. We saw similar the last FA Cup, just one louder ping along a string of endless false dawns.

Of course rocketing up (or is it jogging in place) to 13th in the table is reason enough for Gary to get the bunting out. He’s gleefully proclaimed Manchester as red, forgetting they’re merely the next club to come along kicking City while they’re so, so down (and possibly so, so out).

I’m confident much of the mailbox will echo this bravado; in their excitement just about everyone will overlook Matheus Nunes (as Neville did himself) shunted in as makeshift fullback, struggling all game, gifting the penalty to swing momentum and the result late on. But that’s the margin today.

Gary Neville isn’t a terrible analyst and as a player he was a far better fullback (or player, full stop) than Nunes, but his punditry does betray massive blind spots and bias. I can see why he dipped one little toe in at Valencia but was quickly found out before he could even wade past his shins. Enjoy the derby win, why wouldn’t you, but please have the sense not to proclaim all your carts before horses. That’s just amateurish.
Eric, Los Angeles CA

Arteta is the one before the one
This week’s hot take:

Mikel Arteta is Arsenal’s Brendan Rodgers.

Comes in, changes the culture, instils a genuine philosophy (which is more than the knuckledragging ‘set piece FC’ moniker they’ve been tagged with), comes a close second against all expectations, but ultimately fails to get them over the line and back to the summit.

Whoever comes in after Arteta will win them the title.

Yours in earnest,
Lee, LFC (not that one)

Serie A is alive and well
@Ben Morton-Harmer, Serie A may no longer be what it was compared to the heyday of the 90s, but it is still very much a competitive league.

In the 2023 season, Italian clubs were represented in the finals of the Champions League (Internazionale), Europa League (Roma) and the Conference League (Fiorentina).

In the 2024 season, they had finalists again in the Europa League (Atalanta) and the Conference League (Fiorentina, again).

Indeed, Serie A has the second-highest UEFA league co-efficient, behind only the Premier League, and well ahead of Spain and Germany.
One possible reason certain players seem to be doing better in Serie A might have to do with the breakneck speed of the Premier League – sometimes a player just needs that split-second longer to make things happen.

In international tournaments, when play is always more measured, this becomes even more obvious. Italy, for example, have won an trophy more recently than England – quite a few more actually!

Italian coaches have also historically been some of the very best tacticians, so that may have something to do with it as well – the likes of Sacchi, Ancelotti, Trapattoni, Capello, Lippi, etc. have always been able to get the most out of their squads.
Sanjit (Italian water, food, weather, WOMEN! > the English counterparts) Randhawa, Kuala Lumpur

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