Do children owe their Parents for raising them and compromising for them to have a better future?
Do children owe their Parents for raising them and compromising for them to have a better future?
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Home Lifestyle Africa Family Values Do children owe their Parents for raising them and compromising for them to have a better future?
Wow this episode is such an eye opener, Thank you for this I wish it was broadcast on a channel like SABC where more black people can see it.
Mine didn't even work hard, but there was a point whereby they thought I owed them, I am their investment. I told my mom I owe them nothing.. I hustled my way through life. I renovated&extended our home because I wanted to.. I am married now, focusing on my husband&kids..
On 29:50 there are books that are written on ‘Black tax’ in South Africa. They are based on research and also people’s experiences. Check them out
• Handle Black tax like a pro- Ndumi Hadebe
•Black tax – Niq Mhlongo
Another one that is not about black tax,but about how we relate to money individually and the different positions or roles we play in relation to money and relationships/families/ friendships is ‘what is your money personality’ by Vangile Makwakwa.
As people we help each other period. Do it from your heart, if you don't feel like it yeka!
As people we help each other period. Do it from your heart, if you don't feel like it yeka!
1:19:32 I disagree. As someone who lives in Australia. It is absolutely priceless to be home and breathe African air! It’s sooooo healing ❤️🩹. It’s not just about seeing family. That’s a big part of it of course. Even though they might stress us with financial expectations; there’s no place like home! Where you belong and are not a foreigner!
I am one of those parents who survive by getting money from my children and I am not proud at all. I had to leave my job due to ill health. I feel like I am a burden to my children
“Modidi wamatepe is the worst!”
What if the next person doesn't make it,
Thabs! Powerful my sister! So powerful!!!! I am drinking from the well and I am fed today!
This topic hits home. I have my own story of Black Tax😫😫😫
Loaded. My gran does the same with my father. we all moved out and left them there together. hes 60 years and highly successful. One advise, this disfunction in not yours to resolve. Leave them- love them from afar- and live your own life. They both know exactly that the relationship they are having is dyfunctional. Also when your mother leaves this world- Sabs will marry exactly a woman like your mother. My advise is- Leave them be, find your own healing and love them from afar.
Yooh! I don't agree with your guest hhay. When she said that lady must give her sisters child for adoption 😮? Bathong.
Maybe its bcs we have different cultures. In Zulu culture,my.sisters kids,are my kids. My brothers kids are my kids. My cousins are my sisters,cousin brothers are my brothers klaar.
We are raised as united families. We don't even call taking care of our families black tax. How can I starve my parents who are old and can't work,jst bcs they stay with my lazy sister or brother.? Never.
I made sure that I build my parents big comfortable home,not bcs of any trauma or neighbours but for me and my family .
Its very nice to have a beautiful home,where you can spend xmas together and other nice family moments. Remember,you can stay in expensive Estates,complex,or Surbs. But everything is DONE at home. Whether its traditional,funerals,weddings etc. Its at home. Imagine coming with.your friends and colleagues to an old house in a bad state.
I help those I help,bcs I want to and I expect nothing from them. its just Ubuntu from my side. I taught my kids kindness and sharing. So they are not even jelous abt wht I do for others. As long as they get wht they need.
Remember,my kids can't tell me wht to do or not with my own money. Thats y I send them to school,so.that they can work one day,and spend their money the way they like. No child will come to and tell me nonsense,abt me helping my niece or nephew.
The fact that you are my child,it doesn't mean that you are entitled. Do your job ,which is studying. I will do mine which is Parenting. Lento eniyenza ngoba nihlala emadolobheni,yokuhlukanisa izingane zibe ziwumndeni,iyo eyenza kube nenzondo. Lezingane zizodingana uma abazali sebengasekho. Uthole ukuthi nemali seziyibhubhudle yonke. Bese ke lezi ebeningazinaki zizixosha or zizizonda. Zigcine zingenawo umndeni. Asyeke lento.yokuthanda imali nokuncishana nokuqala ukubona ukuthi ukondla umndeni iblack tax. Abangafuni abayeke,thina esfunayo sizoqhubeka.Kamnandi njwang.
I don't agree with your guest that black tax was invented by us South Africans. We may have coined the term "black tax", (and I stand to be correcte), but we did not invent it. Black ppl in Africa and the diaspora have been financially supporting their families for decades. In countries like Malawi, Botswana, Lesotho, Zimbabwe etc, ppl left villages to go and work on the mines in RSA, some migrated overseas to study or work, and they sent money home to their families, paying school fees for the siblings, etc.
I agree with her about building houses in villages to prove a point to neighbours! It is trauma! Incurring debt that you are solely responsible for, just to prove a point to people who don't care about you. Worse, if you built it for your parents, when parents die, your youngest sibling owns it by virtue of their birth position. Then fighting starts bcos you paid for it! It could never be me. Never!
THANK YOU SO MUCH MADAM SPEAKER FOR THIS TOPIC. ONE OF YOUR BEST! PLEASE KEEP OPENING UP PANDORA'S BOX AND DISCUSSING TOPICS THAT WE ARE AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT. DISCOMFORT IS THE BEGINNING OF HEALING. I LOVE YOU BABY SISTER❤❤❤.
Yebazalwane ❤😂
I personally do not believe I owe my parents anything for raising me. It was their responsibility to make sure I get an education, clothes on my back, health insurance and food in my belly. They did that and I'm grateful. However, I will not be guilt induced for a decision made by two ppl who then did what they were supposed to do. I will not clap hands for them. I gift them from time to time, to show my appreciation for them. But I don't maintain their lifestyle. There was no way I could break the curse of generational black tax if I was maintaining my parents. I wanted to be independent at retirement and not rely on my children for financial support. My grandparents broke that curse. And I was not going to sow that seed again. It took a lot for me to put those boundaries and respectfully say "No, that is not my responsibility". And sometimes it was not received well, but I had to stand my ground and not fold over!
I am a parent myself and I do not expect my children to applaud me for choosing to be a mother and doing what a mother MUST do for her offspring. All my children are staying at home with us – adults and teens. They live for free, and saving money. We have no expectations of them financially. All we want is for them to clean their spaces, do chores and respect us. If they want to buy food, they do so on their own. Not because we expect them to. As a result, we have peace, our children are under no pressure, and they voluntarily pay utilities. They gift us and not maintain our lifestyle! We work hard and made financially sound choices, to leave an inheritence for our children. I believe that I as a parent, have the responsibility to leave a legacy for my children. Not the other way round!
Having said this, I understand that we all come from different backgrounds. Some of us have to maintain our parents and siblings. I respect that!