Do African Parents have Children for Selfish reasons?
Do African Parents have Children for Selfish reasons?
Do African Parents have Children for Selfish reasons? is an excerpt from a previous YouTube live stream featuring Wairish, an intelligent Kenyan woman who is equally passionate about the welfare of the black community.
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They parentified their children, it's one of the reason the children interpret love as money exchange, not emotional connection. When a child is viewed as an object, its hard to see the child as a human whom deserves love affection. Hate spreads when love is undefined.
Asians family are like this too. They think we’re their retirement fund. My sister in law gives her Dad $500 a month even though she’s struggling and her Dad lives right here in California. If you don’t give them money they say you’re an ungrateful child and a waste of rice! I had to set my Mom straight 20 years ago. She tried asking me for $200 to go to the casino. When I refused she used all those lines on me. I told her it takes me working 2 days for $200 which she will lose in an hour if she’s lucky. We will never get out of the cycle of poverty with that thinking.
who parented them
this is a generational narcissistic situation that needs to be sorted with deep conversation
First time on your page. Feel your pain and frustration. Particularly for you in the diaspora. My parents aren’t that bad because their parents freed them from obligation too. I think it will have to start with us. Having said that, feeling like an extension of my parents as a first born daughter has been the most destructive issue for me and why I struggle with healthy relationships. I’ve only now healed from codependence and enmeshment. Feeling worthy even when I don’t perform the song and dance. Appreciate your channel
It also sucks to be in college and get asked for money😫
Yikes. I’ve suspected this awhile. I think my parents def have a touch of this going on with them. Both my mom and dad seem to dislike and resent me.. it’s so weird. It seems to stem from my own assertiveness and insistence on living my life on my terms and establishing boundaries and thinking and deciding for myself. My dad was a bully and my mom was a bit spineless and neither of those things were appealing. My dad was brilliant and also arrogant and selfish with his knowledge. My mom it seems is so preoccupied with holding on to her little meager things she can’t see that efforts to help her plan for future are just that.. and not to rob her of her stuff. It’s sad and frustrating. I have to come to terms with the fact that should she pass before me I will have to do what is financially expedient and practical. Since she won’t help me help her while she is able 🤷♀️
Advocacy for family planning is the single most important driver to lift people out of poverty. Parents are responsible and should be shamed if they can't afford to give their children the opportunity to go to University.
Some don’t even wait until you start working before they start demanding. I’m the typical example here, i am trying to educate myself but they are constantly pressuring me to work to fund they life style, its not that they are desperate or something, they are ok financially not rich but can survive but because of entitlement, they thinks I owe them something. I envy those whose parents at least put them through schools. Mine never did, I’m going through because of my determinations. Imagine starting school in 10 grade, missing preschool, primary and most of high school. Then fighting so hard to reach university and they are sabotaging that, won’t me to leave me alone but want me to work instead university just to send them money. My mom keeps reminding, when is she going to eat from her investments? She literally she said that, I’m not making this up.
I’m studying electrical engineering and still have to work to pay my basic needs and university, I don’t get enough time to study because I have to work to pay my expenses and catch what I missed through reading and they are constantly making a stories just to get money. I was so stressful that I had to stop talking to her, I told her I am going through a tough time at uni but she don’t care she just want money, she will constantly guilt trip me and blackmail me or say she is sick just to get money.
Wow, that ending that is my mother to a tee! She is extremely jealous and hateful. Has been sabotaging me since I was a child. Messed up 3/5 of my siblings with her verbal abuse and now their addicted to drugs or alcohol to cope. She has taken from me financially and shown she doesn’t care if I don’t have even a dime. Finally I have opened my eyes and seen the light. She is never happy when something good happens to me, but she is happy when something bad happens, cause she is EVILLL
I'm pregnant with my boyfriend's baby and his mom and whole family knows in Africa now his mom is asking him to send her money for a house and this week his sister just called him to ask to pay for her wedding they don't care that we have a baby on the way And also his dad is sick and my boyfriend is the oldest child
Yes my father had an obsession with building a home back in Nigeria and was putting so much money to it and kept telling me it was for me and it's my house. But I had no interest in ever going back there or living in that house. He imposed his ideas onto me
The thruth came to last.
You are a sick human being. Speak about your family .
Spot on bro and excellent commentary from the guest. Glad Africans are beginning to see the issues in that continent come from toxic and narcissistic parents who are the building blocks of the African society. Many brainwashed African children don't see this, which is why the cycle doesn't seem to break. They go on to be like their parents and the cycle of Narcissim continues…
When I'm gone I don't even want a burial place. Spread my ashes in the body of water and remember memories of time spent together.
I'm European though, dealing with my ex who is Nigerian and many, many cooparenting conflicts with him and our teen. Hence why I'm here, and 👍🏻 for openingly talking about this issue👏🏻🙂
legal imigration is coming back.
and uneducated un skills and demanding ilegal migrants are going to have a very hard time
That's one of the many reasons africa will never surpassed the west we will always be lesser than the west,.
Absolutely they do have children for selfish reason !
african have children to live of them.
normal people have childre to give them a better future
dont be like africans, be a good perso please
Yes🤣
My parents told me saying no to them is being disrespectful 🤔
i love this conversation. thanks for sharing
It is not just African parents but many parents in countries where there is no pension or welfare to fill the role, so children fill that role.
Countries with welfare it is rather strange why people have children because often no important lessons are passed on, little in the way of wealth or a business to run etc. It could just be that parents enjoy having sex and the child was an afterthought or they felt the child would heal holes in their lives – also selfish reasons. Where a country has welfare for children it can be having children means getting a free house to live in and state payments.
I wasn't certain why my own parents had children to start with because they were more angry afterwards and shifted blame on to me and one other sibling and seemed to prefer the youngest. There seemed to be far more regret I was born and nothing I did was ever right or good enough. (But later it was revealed they felt they would be lonely in old age, felt they needed an extra pair of hands and some extra money in case their state pensions were not sufficient). Earlier on it seemed I was some punishment they had no responsibility for creating which doesn't make any sense.
I had children to nurture and to leave a good legacy to (values, memories, business and assets to pass on). To me, it would be extremely bitter for me to see my children not do well in life and my sacrifice (working, saving, investing, doing without many pleasures, suffering hardship and embarrassment) was well worth it, so my children could have some foundation to build from. I will drink the bitter so you can taste the sweet, sacrifice for your own as I have done for you.
We also have parents who want only their sons to be successful but not daughters, most especially mothers. That's because they tend to normally praise their sons while shunning the daughters and when the girls finally become more successful, they do everything in their power to bring their daughters down because they don't want to be proven wrong. And yes, I know of some families where it's happening
I just discovered your channel today and it is one of the best things I have discovered this year. So many gems. It is so nice to enjoy critical thinking and dialogues based on fact and reality.
You are so right!!
i dont know why i am laughing a friend of mine lost his parents and the guy wasnt even sad !!! it was more like ""I AM FINALLY FREE""""……the competition part honestly scares me .when you know your own parents arent even moved by your suffering ,,,,,only self sabotage
True talk👏👏👍
Brother Franklin who is this brainliant woman ? wow , I have never seen a black woman so intelligent as this woman. Infact she knocked me off my feet
"The definition of generational curse"-The last few minutes says it all. Sadly subconsciously and consciously it is acted out. What was the definition of witchcraft again? I'm happy we are getting it right
Please do a second part
I thought this was only in my country 🇨🇩 jeez, Africans parents do have problem, they are giving birth to us just for us to provide for them and not making any affort to allege some stuff. My hubby parents are the worse one until they're daughter gave birth to 4kids and they want him to work for them too