After 8 years I lay there like a wood simply fulfilling righteousness
After 8 years I lay there like a wood simply fulfilling righteousness
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![Keige Afakasi – 684 ORIGINATED [Official Music Video]](https://i0.wp.com/res.cloudinary.com/glide/image/fetch/https%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2FtGxfxOgzmAg%2Fhqdefault.jpg?w=1200&resize=1200,0&ssl=1 "Keige Afakasi – 684 ORIGINATED [Official Music Video]")
The Phrankleen Podcast: https://anchor.fm/phrankleen
let her leave and face the consequenes.. its a free word
One thing I have found out about relationships is that couples need be frank, open and truthful with each other, every relationship need have a foundation and either culturally or faith based , these are things that formed whom we finally become as individuals. Not every family reacts the way the lady parents or dad do and am a true believer in our Christian ethics so wouldn’t exchange that for what the new world order is all about today. Bottom line is that the lady and her man need counseling, someone who is willing to be objective and not take side.
I know when children are involved in marriage is always very hard to leave, but it’s always better to be alive for them physically and mentally. Relationship is such a delicate thing, so many people died before their time because of marriage. May God help us. I have been through it too so I know what it means.
Nice one big brother thank you sir for your support
From maya 💕❤
She needs to think carefully who this relationship serve, herself, her in-laws or her parents? If her partner is not willing to join her to seek help in the form of counselling, for her own mental health, the marriage in question and also this impacts on their children too whether they like it or not, she needs to walk. Take a break, they both don’t need anyone’s permission to do it, maybe it might create room for them both to really assess why things got to this place and could help in rebuilding again. Lying to oneself is the worst thing one can do. Deal with it now rather than later, the answer she seeks is right there with her and even him. At least she’ll know that she tried. Her parents are living their lives without her permission so are her in laws and the world at large. If you’ve given your all, sit your partner down and be very clear about your feelings and how the whole situation is affecting you all. Your partner is not a fool because they also know the truth. Don’t wait until someone loses their mind or life in some cases or even living a very lonely life for donkey years as in married but single. There’s no point. Better to discuss how to be better parents (cordial &civil) to love your children rather than raising emotionally broken individuals FACTS! Their children will thank them for it eventually. True life experience. Not that I need to explain to anyone but for understanding purposes, I believe in the institution of marriage and raising children with both parents but we as Africans need to understand that sometimes life happens and there are other ways of addressing it rather than sweeping it under the carpets by using emotional blackmail. Humans feels and there are some toxic, very toxic marriages out there that affects so many of us into our adulthood and the circle continues. We need to seriously ask ourselves who does all that serve? Because a broken individual cannot contribute nothing but brokenness to the society if it is not dealt with. There shouldn’t be an exit plan in marriage, looks good on paper with all the vows wordings, but sadly in some cases, if the toxicity is so rife, exiting is a favourable option for everyone involved. So many lives would be saved if necessary interventions such as counselling, family and friends mediation, taking a break even spiritual counselling, all of these done in fairness and positive way and if it still doesn’t work, use the exit plan.
It’s never too late to leave. She has to be happy, she should leave him and take the kids. She should plan very well and not let him aware. She should pray and leave and find friends that can support if parents are not supportive.
This is my position: (a) a father who dismisses my pain, injury, spiritual-mental-physical-emotional-health as I plead for his understanding and empathy is not worth my time, further consultation and close relationship. I can love him from a distance; (b) there is a reason why we are counseled to leave and cleave to our spouses without interference from in-laws, friends, neighbors, religious leaders etc; (c) there are legitimate reasons why intelligent people invite guests/friend to their wedding ceremony — it is to witness a contract, a pledge to love, cherish, provide for each other in an exclusive bond that does not include assault/abuse; when these creatures who dressed up for, ate at, witnessed the solemn pledge and muttered 'amen' at the wedding they were agreeing to be held accountable for holding the couple to their sworn pledge; (d) I would leave that marriage without thinking twice because (i) I will not raise my children by domesticating/excusing abuse by my inaction for them to later replicate; (ii) there's no man/woman worthy of me tolerating their assault/abuse; (iii) I have one life to live and I am responsible for how I live it without violence punctuating it at any point in time; (iv) if any one of my parents feel concerned about 'how they will be viewed/what xyz will say then they can have the abuser. It's THEIR blinking problem not mine and I do not care. My peace and safety should never be at the expense of their so-called image. mcheww! I could say more but that's it for now. Good job, Phrankleen. Always a pleasure listening to you.
https://youtu.be/KlVAecasgto
My favorite man on YouTube 😁❤️
One thing is certain from the story, it is one-sided…
If she hasn't been happy for 8years, one begs to ask;
Was it a FORCED marriage?
Did she marry for money & security?
Did she date the husband?
Is the husband also unhappy?
What did she see in him that made her say YES, I do?
Are those qualities still there? Etc
Humans are complex beings, especially the female gender…sometimes the real problem lies more within the one who is being unhappy…..
Phrankleen what you are saying in the middle is what you should have started with. She needs to leave. Period. May temporarily. Maybe permanently. But first she has to leave the environment for a while to reboot her brain, think clearly then make a sensible decision from a sane perspective. I'm sure she's Yoruba. The culture doesn't treat the girl child as a person with a brain and feelings. She is a prop to make her family proud and happy by playing the "happily married woman" role even if she's dying in her husband's house, so they can boast to their friends and family that they did a good job raising her to be subservient wife to her husband… I'm from the culture and it's quite common…
I don’t really like commenting on stuff like this cos 1st this story is one sided and 2nd I as a man will speak from a man’s POV which may be somewhat biased. Either ways I must say something. When a woman for any reason hates you or dislike or get a turnoff for a man no matter what he does nothing will be enough. Again if a woman tells you a story in anger or pain you might end up hating the person that offended her even when you’ve never met them. Not saying she’s at wrong but there are signs that she might be over reacting you can imagine for her old father to slap her as an adult, a wife and a mother it’s no longer funny. Her mind seems pretty made up to leave , I’d suggest she tries to self heal, be honest and open with yourself, make peace with yourself and everyone else and if you genuinely still want to leave then do so be it but make sure you don’t get to regret it. One more thing LOVE no matter how dead can be rekindled if you’re willing to work towards it
This is a great topic.
Marriage is not by force. Period.
It’s interesting that it’s mostly women that are complaining?? Have a look back st most of your content it’s more women complaining than men. This could be because women are more willing to talk about problems and men less likely or women are more likely to seek validation for their complaints and men less likely to seek validation? Think about it?
I always think that the complainant is usually failing their spouse far more that they are willing to accept.
When a relationship is dead, is dead. Make up your mind and do what is best for you and your family:
I can imagine the very lonely life she has been living. For the sake of the blood and not oil that runs through my veins, there is just no way i will stick arround. She has patience but she must take a stand or lose diming her light within😓
Phrankleen, a lot of the time when parents speak and advice for their daughters to stay on in marriage where there is no physical abuse, this is borne out of the fact that 'a little patience is needed" i.e oun to Dara o Fe suuru. It can be likened to mid.life crisis with your own self. Sometimes couples need to pass thru storm before things gets better. It's not in all sour cases couples should ta out. That's why there is marriage counselling etc. People grow out of love sometimes cos of Unforgivenness
Maybe there were not menant to be together,missfired choice.