Do some African Instagram Skits reflect Childhood Dysfunction ? // SAY IT LIKE IT IS – Ep 154
Do some African Instagram Skits reflect Childhood Dysfunction ? // SAY IT LIKE IT IS – Ep 154
SAY IT LIKE IT IS (Playlist):
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I don't find it funny, when I watch it I hurt and I'm shocked. I can't laugh at it even when I try. It just hurts too much.
Many Africans also find skits about men perving on women with big buttocks, men who cheat on their wives/girlfriends etc, despite all the social and consequent economic problems such behaviour has caused our communities.
@6:50
Those words are typically used by many African parents towards their children.
Then some dare to justify it by saying it’s African “culture”. I call BS some African parents get that such behaviour is toxic and evil.
The expectation to be “timid” and “submissive” to your so called “elders”, even in the face of verbal, emotional and physical abuse. God forbid.
I’m glad this has been revealed to me and that at least I have one parent that reject those narratives.
Well done Phrakleen for bringing it up.
I remember watching a skit by a Nigerian Canadian and Jamaican Canadian discipline their children.
The Nigerian Canadian guy was portraying his parent to a “mad man” or “crazy”. I remember calling this out and a commenter came at me saying all African parents are like that and it’s funny – just because their parents are like so. However, the Jamaican example was more believable and didn’t make the parent look aggressive and “mad”.
It’s ugly and shouldn’t be trivialised.
I don’t support that rubbish ever.
Guys calm down trying to right the wrong., setting the record straight is educative & informative. Great.
Like you always say "whatever float your boat". One size fit all is ain't possible….!
So what are you trying to push sir ? All you do is criticise your own damn culture and ways of life ! So we must act like oyinbo because you are based out of the country now! Everything has to be Eurocentric way abi! With your upbringing can you compare that to this oyinbo people and their ways huh? Please be careful with your content too much criticism of your roots only highlights your mental health!!!! Like you said I’m entitled to my opinion! You talk like oyinbo people and their way are perfect abi? Wow ! We no we have issues as Africans but you talking like you figure it all out don’t make sense I’m sorry!!! No one cares about ya life! Talk about the issues in the uk and how they treat Africans! U my guy sound like you could sell the black race ina heart beat! Both of yall smfh kmt u might not understand where I’m coming hence why I don’t care for this shit anyways! U should be ashamed 🤦🏿♂️always talking reckless about your own people! All because you get their passport! U think you’re safe abi? Ode ! We don’t trust you mate!smh lol
We look into the white culture as well, through their movies. I believe instead of seeing this as wrong it should be seen as information to act on to try and stop the level of abuse. On the outcome, I see several work of art that have same outcome, actor gets shot at with no bullet touching them while the antagonist gets killed. Same outcome but difference script and build up, I think thats same as these skits. Same outcome, different script and buildup.
We should be happy that this guys educate us with the ill of African home "training", I hear about most of this things growing up but never believed until this comedians start narrating how up bringing was for them. Positively, I think we should take this education and understand ways to reeducate the future parents.
Shaming Children Is Emotionally Abusive https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201209/shaming-children-is-emotionally-abusive
Please what kind of mic are you using? Thanks
I finally cut myself off from my seasonal (not part time or fulltime) parent (my mother) in my early thirties, twelve years after my father passed away. It's been hard to be in a relationship. I'm am the one dealing with trauma in my early forties. I'm the one you are talking about.
And people have the nerve to tell me "it is your mother. She brought you into this world so you have to forgive her." My retort is forgiveness doesn't erase the memories. I wish my mind was a harddrive where I can delete those bad memories. I forgave her numerous times but she never quit treating me like an object.
Never again will I put myself in a position to be hurt by anyone. Somewhere I learned this quote "a person can only exercise as much power over you as you let them."
The physical abuse stopped when I came to the U.S., but the emotional abuse continued for over twelve years until I decided enough is enough.
An elderly woman here in the U.S. who she grew up with in the same town in Liberia, visited in 2015 and begged that I call her. Out of respect to her I call my mother reminding her of the things she did to me over the years, to each she denied. At one point she became upset and in her arrogance yelled "I have said I'm sorry so what do you want me to do?"
Just goes to show she doesn't have any contrition in her heart. I don't care about talking to her ever.
And I bet she is one of those people who has no problem saying she is Christian. Hence the reason I became an atheist.
I tried professional help, but talking to my friends have helped more.
It is true what you said about words. She left a message on my phone once where she stated, "you are mean and wicked…." When I called her I asked her if you are calling me wicked for not sending you money on your terms, how will you describe Prince Y. Johnson who killed innocent people during the civil war?
Think I have said enough.
Interesting topic but
Who can ever forget growing up "back in the day" in Africa, a hiding/belting was meant to inflict as much pain as possible. The whole street or neighbourhood knew you got it the night before. As kids we were petrified about stepping out of line but today I laugh when my kids show me comedy skits about the whole discipline thing. The kids will never understand because times have changed, thankfully for the better and they have the law etc on their side.
Who knows if the beatings helped us to be better adults but the memories are painful and probably left mental and physical scars on some people.🤔
My friend has shown me this one skit of an Instagram celebrity who slaps people. He laughs at it, but that type of comedy gets old real quick. I wonder if he really thinks it is ok to do with children.
i so love the art @ 7.25 mins, so cool! Great discussion! Indeed us 'tanned' brothers and sisters are very traumatised….
Hello Phrankleen just to start off by saying I enjoy your content, thank you for that.
I'm not really addressing the comedy skits itself but the notion of discipline. I feel we should be very careful not to cross a line and keep using this western view of upbringing as a yardstick. Our Nigerian parents have been very extreme with the physical form of discipline true! At the same time as the saying goes, you do not throw away the baby with the bath water!
When raising children you have to be firm ,if there is a need to smack a child say on the behind for something that you have repeatedly warned then one has to apply that measure. It's for them to learn consequences for actions, it can also come in form of punishment (sending them to their room all day doesnt cut it), so it should be applied in moderation and also use conversations!
I work in a Behavioral hospital for adolescents, most of those kids if they had firm hands watching over them they would have turned out far better and would not end up there, in fact some of them are so bad that their parents cant control them so as young as 13 yrs of age, their parents reject them!
I am happy to say that I am yet to see one Nigerian child admitted for behavioral issues.
Children are impressionable our way of discipline is flawed yes but neither are the techniques of the westerners, all over the world, Nigerians have made huge strides, we are the most educated ethnic group in America that title didnt happen out of the blues! It was discipline and expectations from our parents set us up. As a black community we have to ensure that our children dont end up in jail or dont have run ins with the law! So some strict measures have to used!
Very importantly, dont be tempted to view us as the most abusive set of people on planet earth, the westerners are worse, some neglect their kids, some sexually abuse their kids, I have seen an 11 yr old white girl write how much she craves a male sexual organ in her, the yardstick you are using is not any better. I'm also a substitute teacher these children are unruly in class, even at the College level where I also lecture the level of disrespect some of them display towards professors is sickening. Also dont forget in western schools the abuse that do to our children by pushing LGBT agenda down their throats now many kids request to be the other gender not because they actually have that issue but because it's the coolest thing to do now and becuas they have been told they can explore!!!
They are made to undergo sex change at a young age , is that not abuse? Years down the line when the child grows that start regretting it and which their parents had stopped them . So these guys are in no way better than us!
Nigerians are known to be respectful in fact I was surprised when one of my colleagues pointed out how polite and mature I am on like other staffs and I just do it naturally.
What we should advocate for is that parents should be careful not to cross a line when they discipline smacking a child if need be is not an intrinsic evil! Back in the 80s in America teachers were allowed to paddle kids on their bum before all these abuse theory ended it. I have heard white parents which that paddling be brought back to the school system.
Finally, can we truly avoid from traumatic experiences? One way or the other we are all traumatized especially in the society we find ourselves so I recommend balance and not completely condemning our methods!
It’s sad because it’s not only in the African culture, it’s the black community as a whole, Black American, Black British and the likes, I went through that growing up verbal and physical abuse and it wasn’t really from my parents but relatives and it followed me for a long time. I couldn’t as much as stay in a relationship because I see and argument as me being taken advantage of and would snap and walk out of every argument until I sought help. The long term effects of those sort of abuse and unnecessary jokes are more than the fun at that moment.
Gather here if you want to see Victoria's face 😁😁
Hi Phrankleen I'm a African American and I watch alot of African Comedies, and I mentioned it to a friend that alot of the African comedies show dysfunction and abuse that I recognize in the Black community period and some that I don't, and it shows that it's a learned behavior and is acted out.. Thank you for this topic ..
Just on racial lines, black comedy whether American, Caribbean, or African has numerous examples of harsh child discipline, marital conflicts where sex is the punishment/reward, or a threatening parent/relative. It's a let's laugh at our own violence against ourselves. Let's laugh at our own belittling of our children, gender biases, and ridiculing of our family unit. While white comedy if they touch on this is couched under an "alcoholic" parent. But the violence against their own isn't a major part of their comedy or defining experience of white life.
Yes…100%. To change the present thoughts/actions, one has to revisit their childhood; there is much uprooting and correction to be done physically and spiritually. Great and necessary topic. Blessings🙏
This is a very interesting but sad topic, i can relate 100%, have personal experiences from my childhood days, that am unable to talk about here.
Good content bro👏👏
In my household, you can't force my blessed children to do what they are not willing to. They are strong headed and have a mind of their own. Some people in black community say we are too laid back while oyinbo would say they would go places.
Alot of us actually suffers from PTSD from our childhood but we just don't want to admit it.
Comedy is subjective. Personally, I find that style of comedy as cheap low hanging fruit. That's why It's easy to copy and also why I don't find them funny. Until we open our minds as a community, this style of cheap comedy will continue to thrive.
Sorry for the being late 😬, great radio show….. thanks for representing African ideas and satirical concepts….
These days it’s less comedy and more shock and awe
Interesting conversation. Remember, you cannot pass on what you don’t know. Most of these behaviors are passed on from generation to generation. It is up to us to rewrite history.
100% correct those so called comedians even make fun of the disable (physical challenge People) and the audience will be laughing.😔😔😔
yes is true
I heard that a lot of people use comedy to silent pain. A lot of people are comedians now and with people wanting to distract themselves from reality seems to be profitable.
Thank you Victoria. 'Twas nice hearing your sweet voice. This topic is very relevant. The childhood trauma from the toxicity lives on for a long time.. And unfortunately, fellow Cameroonians and Naijas in the diaspora still insult and hit their children for no reason.
Interesting conversation. They really do especially when it comes to mental health