How To Deal With a Narcissist, Stop Self Sabotage & Heal From A Toxic Relationship | Dr. Ramani
How To Deal With a Narcissist, Stop Self Sabotage & Heal From A Toxic Relationship | Dr. Ramani
Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology at California State University in Los Angeles. The focus of Dr. Ramani’s clinical, academic and consultative work is the cause and impact of narcissism and high-conflict, entitled, antagonistic personality styles on human relationships, mental health, and…
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I use to ask if he had ADHD because of his compulsive behavior, I couldn’t put my hands on it but in the beginning it was lots of time he got missing lots of excuses, things were moving fast the need to meet all my friends and family! DRUGS!!!! SEX!!!! LIES
I'm back in school studying psychology. I really appreciate this description. I also appreciate the acknowledgement around value-laden diagnoses relating to personality. From what I've learned so far, we don't know much about what a personality is. I'm especially concerned for Autistic folks who may seem narcissistic but that's not the intention and the behavior will get corrected if explained.
Mine doesn't post.. He spies in everyone on FB.. Stalker and the ppl don't know because he looks, watches but doesn't comment or like so you have no idea he stalks u. Posts are not personal but, about things like police dog got killed. Posts things that make him look caring when he has no empathy but will act it on FB
Mine was shy..The People watcher. That's how he tricked me. I had the fun put going personality and I think that gave him a hand up with his military friends. He just came along…Then years years in he started putting me down for being out going and all the things he liked about me, he no longer did. Stay home clean no friends was his idea wife
I took the risk cause I am curious 👀 and study him during the 18 years of marriage and this guy highly intelligent and exceeded other areas in life come to find out it was connected to his mom 😂😂😂that when I decided divorce I m not dealing with 2 but she was worst his mom OMG
Thank GOD🙏🏾for my CLAIRVOYANT abilities cause I married one and in the process of divorcing him 💯🤣😂🤣I said someone to trigger him 3 years ago and he’s afraid of me and refuses to come to court for divorce
Its a red flag 🚩 for me when first individual who ate externally nice going above and beyond to win you over and than that smile 😊 umm and I was always right about those individuals
I learned, while working in a call center 20 years ago that forgiveness is not something I have to express to ANYone else. It's about me removing myself emotionally from the situation. Showing myself that level of kindness lead to my revelation that my life, here and eternal, is about me. It cannot possibly be about anyone else and nobody is living in my body and mind BUT me. In addition I finally concluded that I was not put here only to serve other people. It's possible to help other people admist my own struggles or even suffering but I owe it to myself to be charitable and dedicated to myself first. No, I never had the privilege of bearing children although I have been a stepmother and step-grandmother for 5 years in my life. (40 years ago). That was enough for me…
I have often.
Figured people out and you that I would did not want to have nothing to do with them by looking into their past
I was in a 10 year relationship with a malignant narcissist (7 years married) . He cheated and we got divorced. I was a shell of my former self. I did healing work on myself and I was happy being alone. That relationship was from 2005-2015. Met a guy in 2020. Just ended that relationship in January 2024. He was financially unstable and quite selfish. I never suspected that he was a narcissist though until after the relationship ended and he started a smear campaign against me. Looking back I see it now.. I suspect that he had already had a new supply started while our relationship was still intact.. I’m waiting on confirmation of that. lol.. I’m 61 years old now and I’ve pretty much decided I’m okay with being alone. I certainly feel better being alone than being in a relationship where I’m used and devalued 😊!!
Easy to talk very hard to handle
Hes not a angry person not violent dont seem to be a jealous person but hes arrogant like grandiose but nic pics me plays victim im always the one whose wrong love bombs hes stubborn gaslights me. Hes not aggressive. So is he one. But he got alot of traits
You mentioned getting rid of npd diagnosis, what would you replace it with?
But when you see selfies from a man,sure glasses,tats,posing as opposed to natural, it definitely starts my red flag list,could be just a show off, could be a bad sign
Thank you!
When I told my mother that my husband got a brain tumor (and we have 4 years old together), she said it’s not a big big deal competing to HER having her arm ache in 90th… That was the final point me to be emotionally done with her and losing any hope for being loved and supported. It took me 35 years though.
If they entertain multiple women and lie about it or minimize it. Run. They then get angry if you try to talk about how it made you feel.
It seems to me that a big root is emotional immaturity, insecurity, fears And selfishness… That they won't address and self-sabotage
I don’t run I become their karma! I have proof to back this up
No longer in a relationship with a narc, but what ive learned dealing in this world….up againt one in any situation…DO NOT REACT…DO NOT ENGAGE…DO NOT DEFEND OR TRY TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING….slowly slip away as if youve been confronted by a mad dog !
Thank you once again.
Thank you for your educational description of Narcissist it's very insightful and decorticate them well. Just wondering is there's narcissime in people with un-resolved oedipus complex as well?
Over 20 yrs of living in the fog…surprise! Very genuine.
WATCHING ❤
LIKE. IF. I. WAS. WA5CHING. SILENT. CARTOON🧏♀️🦋
WAIT. WAUT. WHAT. IF. I. STARTED LAUGHING ❤😂
Honestly..I don't even know what healthy is anymore..physically, mentally, emotionally..I just don't know..thanks for the podcast
Great questions Doug. It’s like you knew just what I needed to hear from Dr. Ramani. Thank you both for all the educational content you provide for us🙏💕👍
This is a very ‘spiritual’ issue…NPD is, I.M.O., has become more of the ‘norm’ in that there’s a supernatural being whomChristianity refer to it as satanic…so NPD is THE result of an absence of surrendering to God the creator. No God in your soul, then you’re NPD. PERIOD! Narcissism is the result of being led by an evil presence deep within you.
The grandiose entitlement describes the illegal migrants invading the U.S. currently, and I’m serious, I’m not being insulting, just saying what I’ve SEEN!
"It is different to describe how this shows up."
Yup
If you've been involved with a Narcissist and manage to get out the relationship, please take the time to be alone and HEAL! Get counseling. Because if you don't more than likely you will get involved with another Narcissist. Narcissist seek out and can smell a wounded person a mile away. Once they find them they loveb omb the person appear to be caring and nurturing to your wound but really they are taking your wounded ness to weaponize against you later!
This woman “dra ramani” is a narcisist , is write In shes face
Not everyone get love bomded i didnt ..the odd gift but ..not overwelming gifts.
Yh More gas lighting in the beginning! I didnt even know what gas lighting was!
I was with a covert narc !
The first 6/12 months of the relationship I did not even once think they had NPD. I knew very little about narcissism. Absolutely no idea of the implications. I justified the odd, abusive, offensive, hurtful behavior as “well he needs time to get to know me and trust me, and over time things will get better”. I refused to acknowledge things for what they were from the very first day actually, and instead took the hard way which then became the most challenging and painful 2 and 1/2 years of my life, plus the 3 years of recovery up until now.
I do feel a huge sense of relief today, when I hear descriptions of experts which define every single moment of my experience with this person. Thank you so so much for this incredible work. You are saving lives.
I keep attracting the same kind of relationships it seems
You’re gorgeous
Do they know they are narcissists?
My sister is a covert malignant narcissist. 5 years older than me there's just the two of us she became totally jealous and envious of me when I was born. My older cousins told me it was because the attention was off of her, and on me. And later years she stole my inheritance along with my children, she tried to steal my home when my husband died, by telling me I couldn't afford it and if I didn't quit eat it to her everything would be lost.
34th minute. A narcissist can be compared to a blind person who is under the impression that s/he can see as well as everyone else, if you think of emotional empathy as a sense. Imagine living with a blind person who entertains this delusion. Life would be difficult. Unless the blind person realizes s/he is blind, compassion doesn't really help you.
One of the most helpful things I learned about assessing someone I was in a relationship with was that it doesn't matter if they're a narcissist or just a jerk, you don't have to label them to decide to get away from them.
The dental tecnician tried 3 times to hope I would take a sloping implant bar in my mouth. The 4th time when he gave me this bar I looked at it. I told him this is NOT my Bar, give me back my bar and he RAGED at me. He conned me for an implant bar and 2 thousand 200 pounds. My case is next month, I am having to take the case myself. A year after putting him in court I found out about his dentist who has admitted ''failing me'', well, they re both in it together.
My mother is very narcissistic.
Thank you for all your videos it just might save my life leaving this narcissistic person who's scary
This is quite backwards. We all see the truth. Look here having an interview with a man who's too afraid of a woman to correct her if she's wrong anyway! How hard is it to realize that as children boys are taught and pounded not to treat girls the way we treat other boys we respect them we don't hit them we don't talk to them badly and so on and so on. But the girls on the other hand are only taught to be princesses and make the men cater to them and bow to them and basically destroy every man that they get with when they grow up!
Thank you Dr Ramani for describing the over abundance of compassion that we ALREADY expend on the narcissist! It’s been 2.5 years since I left a 16.5 year marriage to a covert narcissist. I was in weekly therapy for 2 years! I know I’m still not ready to “date”. Instead, I’m taking a course on trauma-informed self defense AND participating in a therapeutic writing group.
I now know we were dealing with a narcissist in my ex daughter in law. She had all the traits of the worst narcissist and she poisoned the children against us and my son.
Comparison is the ultimate triangulation weapon
That one's in six months from memory.