The Clash: Traditional Marriage vs Modern Marriage
The Clash: Traditional Marriage vs Modern Marriage
The Clash: Traditional Marriage vs Modern Marriage is a YouTube live stream about the aforementioned marriages, the pros and cons and what to look out for. A nice one to enjoy and share 🙂
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OMG…my comment/suggestion on the last live became the topic for today: Traditional Marriage VS Modern Marriage 🙏👍🎩👏💃🔥
It's quite "Refreshing" listening to a Fantastically Brilliant Intelligent, Sagacious, Well Edified, Sophisticated Africa Lady❤👍🏿👏🏿
The woman takes care of the household
Man supposed to give the whole pay package..
She will and can budget for the spending, savings, future as long as both have common understanding and overall vision for the family
I'm born and raised in America and I can confirm that this lady very well know what she is talking about. Listen to her!
Awesome
Feminism and modern marriages are falling in the west. African women now are walking around with masculine energy and wants to become men.
This woman is clueless, men are not looking for partners, they want wives.
No respect for 50% situation.
If my husband expects me to pay 50% then he needs to also do 50%of the house hold chores.
How a man expects his wife to respect him if he wants her to pay 50% of the bills?
Women weaponizing the system is something u often to discuss, but if the man is "so good," what woman would do that & destroy her home? Wise people do all within their power to keep a functional home, it's when one party feels they can do anything & get away with it like they did or saw others do in lawless countries that the other party then responds. U say a man can sleep with his wife's best friend & be a "good dad" simultaneously. How? When it is obvious that he doesn't have the right mind to discern consequences that occur in lawful countries. He can be a good provider, not an overall good dad. Such a thoughtless action call's the man's judgement into question big time. I've seen separated or divorced men who pick up their kids & pick a fight with their ex in the process to the point that women advertise for big bouncer type men or off duty police officers to supervise child handoffs because some men will try some ish. Some men also dump their kids with a female relative or parade different girlfriends & potential girlfriends in front of their children any time they have them. Even sometimes they indirectly force the new "girlfriend" who doesn't want to share her new man with his kids, to be a cook & nanny to their children. She hates it, but in order to keep the man, she fakes niceness when the man is there, but when he leaves it's "oju olomo o to." All over the world, step-parents & father's girlfriend or mother's boyfriends, hurt or kill kids left in their care. 9 out of 10 times, if a man is really a good man, not a two faced man people outside see as nice & people inside see as not, a reasonable women will let him see his kids….
Beautiful. Thank you. Good discussion. ✌🏾👍🏾👏🏾❤️
Tolulope she is dope with her point of view. I like everything about her points.
Africans give respect based on conduct, character, and wisdom of adult individuals. Senior citizens (older people) were respected because of their maturity, responsible behaviors and wisdom. Children are respected, but have boundaries on how they can talk to adults.tje idea that people are respected because they have money or others are denied freedom to express themselves is faulty. Africans express themselves within boundaries unlike in Western cultures where people, including children say whatever comes to their minds at anyone without filter, especially when they are denied what they want. Western cultures and marriage is generally transactional and about self, while African cultures and marriages is about the good of the community. So Africans need to stick to their cultures. After all, last time I checked no western people are adapting African marriage traditions.
It is hard not to put equal blame on govt and women because the laws enable women and not men so from the onset there is a bias there that lends credence to the rhetoric of an all out plot to attack families and destroy men in general. Phrankleen said it right at 36.50. Tolu spoke proficiently too (especially at 45:55) but she lost me in (49:25). Picking up your partners slack is voluntary not compulsory and not a basis to measure true love or empathy. Men certainly don't see it like that. Love should always be unconditional and untainted by monetary pollution and complications.
Aunty Tolu is using book definition of feminism which is different from reality.
I'm convinced she's a strong user of the no true Scotsman fallacy.
In Canada, both parents are entitled to a total 1 year at 55% of their respective incomes. How they share the time off is their palava.
adding to what BJ Wake The western marriage is based on a contract between the couple and the government. you pay the government. you then need to seek the permission from the government get a divorce or decide on how the children are managed and your finances are slip the traditional marriage is between the couple, their creator/ancestors. the western marriage has encouraged the woman to be independent and innovative in her own right which has muddied the roles of the traditional marriage. The couple in the west in most marriages have been forced the couple to go out and work to pay the increasing bills. Its hard to find a balance as you cant have your cake and eat it. Someone has to be at home to care nurture the children. this is my opinion. I am a british woman
Marriage in our modern times is super irrelevant. If you want be together, just be together. If not, then move on. Let’s be honest only 1/3 of marriages do work till death do us part. Remember before we meet a partner, we are individuals, we took care of ourselves, in a partnership of a love relationship, everyone should take care of themselves too. If it’s common things such as children, mortgage and household items, then contribute equally.
Interesting topic…there are so many facets of this topic. I think marriage should be first defined according to the ONE who created it. Marriage is a relationship of agreement, sacrifice, mutual submission and endurance. It speaks nothing of oppression, individualism, disrespect, lack of communication, expectations etc. Both societies- African and Western societies have gotten it wrong hence the disarray. In both marriage should be held sacred by the man, sacrificed for the approval of God. African men have neglected their true responsibilities in marriage. They want to play Gods in their marriage and wonder why they fail. It is a matter of responsibility and sacrifice. Western men are closer to the intent of agreement through effective communication in a marriage but still not there either because somehow they are still self seeking more than God intended,
Wait, are either of you guys actually married???
Who is advising us here?
The funny thing is that the so called traditional marriage that we practice today is what was introduced to us by the west during colonisation. That was how their marriage was at the time, very patriarchal in nature. Our real traditions had a very different take on marriage, and women were treated better in our old ways. Everyone understood their roles, and men weren't insecure of who they were because they understood their role.
This woman is intelligent, insightful and very knowledgeable. Thank you Phrankleen for creating this platform where we can engage, learn, reflect and unlearn. It's time we reexamine our values and do what works for us based on where we are, what's fair, just and what fulfills our lives.
Phrankleen the Emancipator. Brother mi, bawo ni?
Watching the replay. Very interesting conversation.
The term 50/50 sharing of financial responsibility could be mind blowing to a spouse who is new to the Western economic system. However, "problems could be averted If the husband explains to the wife that the nature of Western system may require they pool resources together to thrive".
Point of correction: So called "modern marriage" is traditional to the West, just as various Nigerian ethnic groups have their own marital frame work. Colonialism makes Africans strive to adopt Western traditional marital arrangements without "asking any questions if it's in their best interest".
Great discussion 💗💗 eye opener
But America teaches us to change the narrative to help our situation
He has to cook, and clean the house
If a woman pays half of everything, what role does a man play in a relationship?
Phrankleen, The Lead Attorney majors mostly on what the system does to families in divorce and child custody
The question is do women in traditional marriages feel less entitled then those that have White/Court weddings?
In most cases, yes as they dont have docs to prove they are married.
In Zim the laws were changed to help women in long/short term traditional marriages.
Greedy Inlaws often want to take over properties once the womans husband has died.
It is a cruel and selfish practice that forces widows and children into poverty.
Widows living abroad go through the same experience, Inlaws back home are known to take over properties without notice.