The TRUTH about Monitoring Spirits, Should Black Women Be Softer and Joining the War? #TMSHottakes

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athompson

Joined: Mar 2024
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The TRUTH about Monitoring Spirits, Should Black Women Be Softer and Joining the War? #TMSHottakes


So is it true that we’re in the advent of ‘monitoring spirits’? Are Black Women once again being told to be ‘softer’ to embrace their femininity? Are we joining what seems like an imminent world war? From bringing back slang words to the Barbie ‘snub’, it’s the latest tea served piping hot on another episode of TMS Hottakes!

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19 Comments

  1. People don’t comment on things these days because in this world of twitter cancellations, you don’t want to get dragged for what you say online. In particular for black women as we get more senior in professional positions, people will dig hard on your accounts if you get into anything prominent. This fear of saying the wrong thing is hindering our ability to engage freely. Now when I have something to say on various platforms I am more likely to slip into the DMs. I don’t want to get into trouble. I am so sorry for you guys as content creators because this is where you are not getting to see good engagement.

  2. What they really mean is “ black women would have more success in the dating space if they were not black.” Instead of them to say it with their chest so we can all operate accordingly. Mad world.

  3. I agree with the BW who see our relationship with feminity for what it is.

    The policing of BWs feminity is as wild as some BWs desperation to partner with someone based solely on skin tone, culture, and a shared position of subjugation.

    Let's not negate the reality that, despite their patriarchal privilege, the collective (or at least, a critical mass) of BM continue to fail themselves, and thus their community beyond reasons that pertain to the system (e.g. absentee fathers, low education, under employment, hypersexuality, lack of resources and generational wealth building).

    Far too many BM have an External Locus of Control that needs to be remedied with the support of the so-called good men. With this, BW (who have sadly been given very little choice by BM but to lead) can find more time to lean into/rest in their feminity, which may appear differently to the Eurocentric version often forced upon us.

    If, using their privilege, BM created safer softer, community friendly environments for their people to live in, they would experience the softness they desire.

    In my opinion, BW should broaden the dating pool. BM shame you for failing in relationships because they are very much aware that research suggests you are not going anywhere. I am not suggesting excluding good men who happen to be Black, but do not bend yourself into a pretzel attempting to prove feminity when there are too many BM who only choose BW because they will "hold it down" (step into the masculine when he falls short), or be that "ride or die" (willing to accept all manner of mistreatment).

    I love my sisters 💁🏾‍♀️ and wish better for them as more honest conversations come to the light. Your feminity is enough – do not surround yourself with people who diminish it.

  4. Your viewpoint on black women and softness + feminity was quite refreshing! As a black american woman, it is quite frustrating, really. People say, "Why are you so angry?" "be soft" "smile," etc etc, but they never realize that we are a product of societal norms and pressures. More than any race here in america, we are the most sexualized in just about every area of life. We are highly criticized, and we are blamed for all the problems in our homes. We face so much on a daily basis that keeps us in what others deem as a "masculine" role. Black women are strong and they know how to get things done. But as strong as we are, our love is just as deep and strong, too. And that is what many miss. They don't see how we show up and show love and femininity. Its different, and that's okay. But one thing I wish folks would do is stop blaming us. It's not all on us, part of the responsibility falls on men, black men in particular.

  5. i’m only 45 seconds in but i must pause and say: SISTERS!!! YALL LOOK TF GOOD TODAY!!!! EVERYTHING IS GIVING!!!! UGH! did yall color coordinate on purpose?! the hair! the makeup! everything!!! GIVE ME LIFEEEE 😍😍😍😍😍😍

  6. Loving the hot takes episodes, as someone's who's feed is so curated that I don't see anything anymore, it keeps me down with the kids lol! Just a question on the Chris Brown topic, I genuinely want to know your thoughts on his journey, as the Rihanna assault wasn't his only major issue. As a Christian I believe no one is beyond redemption, but I feel he is someone to discuss with more nuance. Perhaps an episode on celebrity accountability and how we react as consumers?

  7. The women in the best actress category are all deserving too. And it is quite diverse. In addition, this is Christopher Nolan's first nomination as a director, and I mean The Christopher Nolan o!!! Greta did not stand a chance in that category. We need to be honest abeg.