Waje about Relationships, Male Friendship and Black Tax | Dear Ife Series Podcast
Waje about Relationships, Male Friendship and Black Tax | Dear Ife Series Podcast
In this captivating Dear Ife Series Podcast renowned singer Waje sits down with Ife to share her honest and evolving perspective on men. She opens up about how her recent friendships with men have taught her valuable lessons, shifting her outlook on relationships and connection. Waje also dives into the pressures of “black tax” within African…
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Pick yourself first
I love this conversation ❤
Gosh, WAJE!!!
She should do what Waje advised, get them an apartment that they can continue to pay for.
Me, I was 3q when I got married and left my parents house but I handled my responsibilities. Paid bills, handled my business etc. My parents taught us responsibility, I'm the firstborn and my siblings and I help one another when its needed, same with my parents. Oh we respect our boundaries too.
Nobody should move in with her, the most she can do is get them a place together and let them sort the bills themselves, immediately they move in they will drain you emotionally & physically & financially.. Mess up your place, and even when they are settled they won’t contribute & your mum wouldn’t help matters
Black tax no go kee me . If you dear say your mind it is counted as being proud.
Do not compromise!!! Let them stay in there space and support them where necessary!!!
Wow! I loved watching this
I just love this episode, I had to come back to watch it again after watching that of Debo. What resonated more with me is the fact that Waje met friends who are allowing her to unlearn the behaviors she had developed as a coping mechanism in her childhood. Often times when people experience difficult situations in their childhood, they develop unconscious coping mechanisms that may be unhealthy. Emphasis on “unconscious”. It takes intention to unlearn these behaviors and learn healthier ones, and much as her friends are providing that support for her, she has been intentional in remaining open and committed to the process. Because the truth is that “unlearning” can be challenging, difficult and emotionally dysregulating. So, kudos to her friends, and bigger kudos to her. 👏🏽
Waje you said all that needs to be said. We firstborns dey see shege
They want to move in for "soft life". They should live according to their means. If you must help …. family therapy first " a conversation to unpack the last 20 years must be had ". Then firm boundaries, help them for a bit – say 6 months with a smaller accomodation.
Topic, host , guest, and input were exceptional! Ife this is your best 'Dear Ife' yet.
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
The lesson I learned for always coming through for people even when it’s to give my last, is not for the weak.
The way I cried and got depressed, when I needed help and there was no one there, and that if only I was saving what I had, instead of just giving, it would’ve been better for me.
I have learned the hard way, and now I only give when I can, even though I’m still struggling, but I have decided not to overdo, and put myself first at all times.
You see boundaries?
I don't think Nigerian Parents know that(mother's especially)
I remember my someone telling me that she is not going to bring her mum to her house because she doesn't respect boundaries…
I wish all first born and the richest will always live for themselves first regardless….
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Letting your mother in will definitely open the door for emotional blackmail because it's obvious she's the chief enabler and she doesn't even know this yet. Please do not let anyone back into your home, support with what you can from a distance.
My 2 cents advise. I wish you well ✌️
I will let my mom move in after having the talk.
And omo if the siblings mistakenly move in, na every 3days i go de remind unna of your bad character😂
I will let my mom move in after having the talk.
And omo if the siblings mistakenly move in, na every 3days i go de remind unna of your bad character😂
First of all observation, Ife no pledge o for this episode
Lovely episode , waje is very self-aware and emotionally intelligent. As for the poster, please do not let anyone move into your home especially because they have shown you how they can be. Help with resources, if you can spare. Continue to set healthy boundaries and keep thriving
If I were to be in her shoes, none of them will come close to me, because I have done my part by bringing of them to Canada! She should focus on her life and relationship, she's old enough to have her family too!
😂😂😂
Awesome episode as always..
I learnt something 'Black Tax'
To our DANG sister, please allow them carry their challenge but you can help them in any little way you can. Letting them unto your house again is a big NO instead get them a place they can afford and please keep the place because they may get a place way above their pockets. To your mom, she can stay with and still visit your other siblings . In all funding your balance is important. Please maintain your stance on your decision because you know best, your mother would want to use emotional blackmail.
Best of luck ma'am.
She should help from afar, get them a job and pay their first rent.
I have a younger sister who earns more than everyone of us. And she’s a giver. 😂
I’ve taken it upon myself to remind her to enjoy herself! You’re not responsible for me or any other person. I remind her to set boundaries. As a first born I understand the pressure that comes with you just thinking because you’re in this position it’s your place to do certain things. I won’t allow any of my sisters to suffer that! I constantly check up remind them to rest! And even if you earn more than me I still try to do what I can for you.
It’s a conscious decision.
What brought about First Born Tradition – RESPONSIBILITY + OUR PARENTS.
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Something is telling me that Waje is a TIP yarder 🤔 coz her words and perspectives are screaming “The Intention Parenting Academy” 😁
Black tax kills faster than a disease
I watched my grandma gave her all for her siblings all her life, at every point when she needed them, they weren't there for her until she died some years ago😢
Setting healthy boundary is very important
I've learned to always prioritize myself ❤
Dear Dang writer, your siblings will sort themselves if you are not available, help them in a way that is convenient for you not at the detriment of your peace, life and reducing yourself
🥂🥂 To more greatness coming your way 🤗
Love, love this episode so much! Thank you, Ife.
My mom’s first comment on this was NO!😂 She should not accept they come live with her. By the way my mom is 68 years old. She is not doing anything bad by saying no, she should prioritize herself always.
This discussion is great. The enabler n the enabled should know their space.
Also, those enablers usually don't listen to advise at the time until they learn the hard way.
I'm in total agreement with both recommendations from Waje n Ife, she should live her life.
Finally, a podcast series I can't get enough of… Very balanced and rich conversations.
I applaud u Sweet Ife, u were not interjecting and that’s a sweet way of taking correction. Family will be fine so will I, make we Dey support each other from a distance. Learnt from my husband experience.
When are we inviting Bovi, I have enjoyed all the guests so far, just would love to see Bovi and hear him give his take on these stories
No she isn't too hard. Let them stay in their houses. When you were down and they didnt help you did you die? They'll survive. They'll distort your structure if you allow them come live with you.
Even your mum dont let her come leave with. Leave all of them alone. Help from your afar
Hmmmm I think she shouldn’t allow the mum stay with her. There’s a high chance she’ll start guilt tripping her and I don’t think she needs that in her space. I’d say she should get her mum a place to stay (of course a place that she can easily afford for her that won’t affect what she’s doing for herself). If the rest of the siblings like they can go and stay with her.
She should continue to choose herself and not look back !!! If there’s anything she wants to help with at all she should give them the money and tell them she has bills to pay too. People are wicked and don’t care so far they are not the ones having problem . They should all get out and sort their problems !!!
A lot of info from waje& ife❤❤. Set healthy boundaries& don't look back because its draining from within, use redrawal syndrome& help when you have settled your important needs then gradually do what you can, it's true takers family, friends or foe don't have limits. They can dislike you for a while as long as you don't loose yourself in the process,👏👏🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤