Girls are deemed worthless within African families?
Girls are deemed worthless within African families?
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Teach girls to be Independent as much as possible it’s a very sad toxic culture the guy he’s gonna get everything and loose it fast because he was so spoiled he doesn’t have the mature mentally to manage it wisely he’s a parasite not only African culture not other cultures are the same they favor the boy over girls I hope one day that change because we women are more mature than man we make better choices
God knows I'm starting to Love u more and More!!! I'm an African born in the US. Many times in my life I've seen the men treated wonderfully just bcus they are humans with a penis BUT we, humans with vagina's (even tho we birth Universes) are treated like Sh*t. Even by other women. I hate it!! It needs to change. Thank u for ur understanding. I pray our brothers listen to u. 😘💖
OMG same thing with my Dad told me only so much, I've never seen his Will but in his defence, i know who the legal firm is 😕. I told him I'm not bothered over what he has as my mum raised me when they divorced and she trust me with all her business. It's an honour.
Very interesting. I agree that this kind of unfair mentality has to end and kudos to the girls that move on managing that kind of grief and build their own wealth. Are their ministries or association that help build confidence in peace for people that have to deal with family unfairness?
NOT African but Nigerian families, precisely very common among the Yorubas
"She has developed a Boss Mentality." Good for her. Keep moving and don't look back at how the culture treated you bad.
It is even mothers and grand mothers who perform Female Genital Mutilation and iron the breasts of their young girls just so that they do not become promiscuous, or so that they will be less attractive to men and therefore will be faithful to their husband when they are eventually married off.
Such a backwards tradition of misogyny and sexism.
Women need to vet the family they marry into and teach the girls the same as the boys. Look at the North most women are not allowed to even have an education they are seen as possessions with no rights it’s very backwards.
Meanwhile our male rulers still can’t bring 24 hour electricity to the country , jobs for the youth or a system that elevates the country .
You have to say which part of Africa. There are millions of cultures in Africa. Where I come from, girls are not sub-human. They can inherited land, house… We don't arrange marriage. Girl can speak up in family meeting like anyone else. They are free to go out any time of their choosing… and free to come back. The can divorce, remarry, etc. We don't have a problem with a woman divorcing 20 times and getting remarried 21 times with kids. We marry widows with kids, divorce with/without kids, …. Some African tribes have problem those kinds of things.
So please, when you say "Africa", specify the culture you are talking about. We may be all Africans, but we come from different cultures.
Thanks
I was blessed to have an amazing father who saw daughters as the same as sons. When he died he left a will and everyone got a fair share. I got slightly more before he felt that as a woman I must be financially secure since he would not be around to watch out for me. When I hear stories like this it makes me realize how much my father loved me. May he rest in peace.
I have witnessed highly educated men being pressured to have a son with another woman just because their wives only gave birth to girls!! I have witnessed highly educated couples being pressured to keep producing until they get a boy !!! More power to men who stand their grounds and go against "culture".
There was a big debate last year in Uganda after one of the former prime ministers passed away. He passed his inheritance to his daughters and that created a hullabaloo in the Buganda kingdom. According to the Buganda culture, inheritance should have been given to his brothers!!! Thank God he had a will which was straight forward.
In the Akan tribe in Ghana, we are matrilineal so it is not much of a problem, unlike in the Notrthern tribes in Ghana. The Akan system is heaviy controlled by women in Ghana even in chieftaincy.
My dad is a real traditional man. He never showed gender preference. I only knew about gender discrimination when i got married.my dad showed us all equality .
Its not fear at all. How a parent disregard thier daughters. Its a bad tradition
I believe the title should change to some African families, the belief that girl children are less valuable is subjective and can be regional, some countries and cultures actually value women more than they do men. For example in Botswana, women dominate industry, entrepreneurship, and all sorts of business, if anything they tend to lead the household too, so something to consider there, in Zambian culture a good number of tribes have a matriarchal/ matrilineal system, so perhaps you could do that research on which countries operate that way.
In fact when writing a will, the parents are fair, what you mentioned about the rich man writing a will just for his son doesn't happen in Zambia.
My friend comes from a well to do family, they actually own a nursing school, she and her sister have been given the reigns of the business, they run it and not the only son, because he isn't as productive as his sisters, they are all equally represented in the will, but the brother is not in charge of that business.
When my late dad passed away, I was the selected administrator with power of attorney, and was surrounded by not less than 8 brothers, ofcourse they wanted to take charge but I was selected.
I’m of Ashanti origin in Ghana and we pray for girls to carry on the bloodline property passes to the girls to it stays in the family the king passes his throne to his sisters son. You belong to your mothers family the only thing you take from your father is his surname. At this very moment in time my great grandmothers line has finished as all the girls in my generation only has sons and the inherited property in my family is going to passed to the line of her sister as the girls in my generation from her have daughters. If the value of the women is going down in the Ashanti culture than that is values inherited due to colonialism and not what our ancestors did.
I have two kids a boy & a girl, it helps me greatly to balance the love between the two kids. Once you start having 5 to 7 kids it starts getting complicated. Seems like a lot of people from a large family have similar problems. As much as I’m pro African, pro black etc…. this very issue of females……. I hate it to the core, it’s even more annoying when the so called educated people think in this mindset!
A lot has to change in Africa or all women are moving to MARS…..or is it Venus?😆😂😆🤣
Africa is so much still very a partriachial society..and the men are held to a higher pedestal as the heir apparent . Women are pressured to have male children, over female.. division of property is done with the male child in mind…. if you're married as a woman you can't own property home..just alot of BS. I feel her predicament..but this happens alot in africa.. in the name of culture and tradition! Still very much alive unfortunately
Not really. Girls are now the gold standard. I say that as a man.
What kills me is when a man gets married and his wife keeps having daughters and then the elders come in and tell him to get a second wife to bear his son. I think I learned in like the 8th grade that the man determines the gender of the baby but these folks dont seem to get it. Even with my own family self, I am the first born of 4 children, 3 girls and a boy. My father shares all his information, his will, his assets etc with my brother and I know nothing as his first child. He hasn't shared anything with me and he doesn't plan to. Years ago I told him he should have had 4 sons instead. And the response I get is that "Mo baje" (that Im too spoiled, ilu oyinbo has spoiled me, I have no manners etc. I cant deal with that backward thinking. I actually feel for him because I doubt his same golden son will be there for him in his time of sickness and old age.
Each generation has an opportunity to educate themselves and do what’s right based on the information that’s available for the time. It wasn’t that long ago that it was acceptable to all over the globe to subjugate women and others that groups of people deemed to be unworthy. Today, there’s information that supports “better” or more informed decision making. Questions have been asked, discussions have been had, and now humanities thinking is much different than it was just a few decades ago.
That said, some generations and societies choose not to evolve with the rest of the planet. Some societies still treat women like children, some even like pets and slaves. The best solution is to simply teach the youth that there are “better” (more informed) ways of reasoning and to let the older generations die off.
In the case of the sisters whose father chooses to leave his possessions to his son, I say keep it moving and enjoy your best life. If the father feels as if he doesn’t owe his daughters anything then let that establish the new relationship, they chose to have with him. It’s nothing serious or personal. Just don’t go out of your way if the father asks for financial help and if the brother doesn’t petition the father in his sister’s favor for their fair share of the inheritance, let him deal with the funeral costs when the father eventually dies.
As an African mother, I am more vigilant about educating and pushing my daughter and other female members of my family forward because I do not want them to be at anyone's mercy when I am dead and gone.
Hi phrank, The topic is very misleading I don't know when last you came to Nigeria but things have changed, firstly this is 2020 haba even in Africa women are now doing better than men. It might be her family, nowadays all those things hardly happen. Please people should stop with all the generalization.
Are there laws in Nigeria which guide legacy topics ? The same thinking/ mentality was also prevalent in Germany 150 years ago . Sometimes girls/women are only part of the board of directors within a family business because there are no male descendants , even nowadays…
Anyway it is also not a joke to be a female in the midst of males within a company in many cases.
The law should treat women and men with equal importance regarding the will/ legacy. Greetings
@Phrankleen We know women in the Western world are treated with privileges yet, you still hear complains about their disadvantages. Women don't want equality they want special privileges it is on display throughout the Western world.
Some men are evil 👿 my mum has 4 girls but people were telling him to marry another woman but my dad said No my father love us treat us like princess
Beef between siblings sometimes stems from the parents favouring the boys over their daughters. Then they make a will sometimes and leave everything to the sons who don’t do that much. Can’t do any wrong in their eyes. Is treated like a king is never held accountable for their in action. It creates hostility. Some mothers perpetuate these unhealthy divisions almost has thought they enjoy watching their kids fighting. I believe their parents have done it to them and they just carry it on. I told my dad l love him but l ain’t fighting over no land that was there before me and will be there after l close my eyes. It’s exhausting. 🤷🏽♀️😔🇯🇲
It’s common in Caribbean families too.
Reminds me of that film Lion Heart 🎓💔
Hi Phrankleen
Like people I know… Move on. Definitely don't sit and expect anything. Consider not even talking to that side of the family much
This is so sad
If our rulers can say their wives belongs in the kitchen and the other room what do you expect
Yeah they always look at the extension of the family names. Men will carry over the name to the next générations, it’s such an outdated model
A lot of these misogyny was inherited from the colonialists e.g We had Queen Amina of Zaria, Queen Moremi, Queen Nefertiti etc. In Calabar, the women were worshipped, inherited the father's properties, allowed to have multiple husbands. In Ashanti, Ghana, people trace their heritage from their mothers lineage. Funny enough these colonialists are now the feminists.
I don't think this story is true in every African countries. One thing I know of every last child it don't matter if is a boy or girl the parent treat them good , I think this girl misinterpreted this as boy vs girl , she probably grow up in the west and the parent grow up in Africa , but it's not about genda , if their last child happen to be girl she will be treated better than all the child who are boys .
The two things I find wrong in this is the fact that they spoon-fed the boy and secondly, the father was not willing to talk about wealth distribution with her (which means he doesn't plan to give the girls anything). One of the problems that we face in Africa is people just take behaviours without understanding the reasons behind them and just misinterpreting these things in a shameful manner. Now in a situation where the boy was not spoonfed, he actually had a life. The wealth cannot be redistributed equally, he his obviously going to take majority of the properties but the ladies have to be given something substantial. But according to his sister he doesn't even have his life in order and to me that just means he is going to squander it, so the man should give his wealth to his girls and make sure he lets the boy know so he can start becoming a responsible man but unfortunately we know this will not even happen. But again we have to remember that the man even left his family to have another family which to me says a lot about him already.
Wills and deeds are BOTH important for estate planning. Would some people consider the changes in culture as heading towards a westernized term coined as "feminism"?
Thank you for this video Phrankleen. More women need to understand they don't have to depend on someone else whether it's family or partner. I've spent too much of my life giving to people who don't deserve my help and are just using me and ready to throw me away and on to the next and they out of their mouth say they will. 🥺 In a viscous cycle of putting down & anger and false sorry's & I love you's. Like someone said in the live don't ever feel guilty of walking out of a bad relationship whether it's family, friends or your partner. I'm doing that right now and hopefully I can have a truly happy life finally.
Please fam if you can check out Marie Kimbi's YT she really needs our help right now. At the very least please watch her videos and like n sub. Thank you.
https://youtu.be/w4HnYRDtT4w
Coming from a African woman born in Ireland, I never understood why certain countries have this mentality that 'Men>>Woman'. I assumed that the first born would always own the most of the inheritance. My family taught me that women can do and should have the same things as a man has. Hearing this makes me very concerned about the progression of Nigeria and other countries (including outside Africa, I'm not biased) that if we put down half of our society all based on gender, how do we expect to move out of the patriarchal mindset that stops needed workers and companies for the sake of value?
That's the problem with generalization. I don't know what part of Africa she is from. I'm in my 60's now and my parents had 12 of us. 7 boys and 5 girls. My parents valued all of us equally, boys and girls and trained us equally. Today we have scientists, nurses, lawyers and architects and soldiers in the family living all over the world and still very close with family love. My late parents valued both boys and girls equally, even in the 1950s the.