You can tell if a black woman is with a white man from her hair| hard wig soft life effect

Black Americans, slavery is over, well, supposedly

Another way to look at it is that white men who date Black women tend to be more open in general. I’m a Black woman in HR, and white people DO NOT like a fro or Black hair in its natural state in professional environments. They will compliment the crap out of you while they stare and talk about you behind you back. I usually do not interview or wear my hair in a curly fro at work.

I’ve noticed from living in a more upscale White City that many white guys like active women. So a woman with extra long nails, new hairstyles that can’t be sweated out and overly expensive taste usually are not prioritised by them black or white . I think that’s more of a broke man/new money thing or even years into marriage. Young upwardly mobile healthy men want to do adventurous stuff on the weekend like kayaking, the white water center, hiking, festivals etc and don’t want you worrying about if your lace is melted.. takes the fun out of things. GENERALLY SPEAKING ofc it’s just something I’ve noticed

I’m a black woman married to a white man and in my experience- WM don’t care much about hair but if you happen to be natural, they sure tend to LOVE it. My husband actively celebrates my afro and was the first person to tell me I look beautiful with my natural hair. He gave me the courage to fully embrace my hair and I remember my 1st work event I finally worked up the courage to wear my natural hair and warned my WM boss ahead of time. When I showed up my boss glanced at me- said my hair looks great so what was I worried about again? I laughed and explained a bit about black women and our hair. He shrugged and said he didn’t hire me for my hair anyways so feel free to wear it however I please lol

My husband is white and we live in Oregon. There is no black people where we live. I use to live in Virginia and there is black people everywhere!😂 No black people equals no black salons. I’ve learned to do my own braids, twists, trims and all. At the end of the day, my man doesn’t care about my hair no matter what it looks like he thinks I look beautiful all the time. I’m so appreciative of how I can just look a mess and him not care or even know that my hair is not to my standards sometimes.😂

He's fine

My black man loves my natural hair especially as a fro. They are out there ladies!!!

Disclaimer: I married a white man, so maybe I'm in the hard wig/ soft life demographic eyeroll

I'll say this—as someone who has lived outside of Black communities (and often feels isolated by them when I do try to participate), I've been hyper-vigilant about my hair since I was a child. My mom gave me my first relaxer when I was a toddler, so I couldn't even tell you what the texture was like as a kid. This led to me feeling like straight = good, together, acceptable for the public. On top of this, I was literally terrified of getting braids. I didn't want to be perceived as "too Black" because I was going to predominantly white schools.

As I got older, I realized that I was manipulating my hair to death to not be perceived as different by either community. If my hair wasn't perfectly straightened and coiffed to look borderline not of my race, I felt like people were going to look at me and judge on sight. My White husband is the only person who has made me feel comfortable in my natural hair and encouraged me to start experimenting with my hair in a way aligned with how it naturally is – if not for myself, for our kids.

We're really putting this pressure on ourselves as a community. Black women should be allowed to live and care for themselves without additional external pressure. I'm still unpacking this, but I think this "Hard Wig; Soft Life" movement adds to this undue collective insecurity about our hair. WE DON'T NEED IT!

Personally, I think it’s because black men always talking down on weaves/wigs, so BW feel lowkey pressured to have their hair laid around BM.

But WM don’t really get the wig/weave controversy. It’s not as much of a deal breaker to the WM because to them it’s just hair ? They don’t really care about the wig either because they understand it’s like clip-ins for white women and hair dye, etc. It’s for the style.

Plus they kinda always wanna see it because it looks nice.

Black women dating white men don’t feel pressured to always have laid edges and relaxed hair. They can be comfortable without worrying too much about their hair because the WM understands it’s literally just hair.

Black women thinking their hair has to be laid and look a certain way to be acceptable is the problem here. It's a shame black women tend to feel more comfortable with their natural hair when the date outside their race.

I always saw the black girls who wear crunchy wigs as the ones who only wanted white boys.

No hate, I’d be a hypocrite if I said I’ve never dated out of my race.😭

It all boils down to what people consider ‘untamed’ or ‘unkempt’ vs. texture.

The disconnect with black men and black hair is that they think it should be a monolith when it comes to appearance. They don’t know the difference between a face full of makeup and a natural face (that’s every race of men actually), and they can’t tell when a woman has let her hair go and her natural God-given texture.

The black men that have grown hair past their ears without braiding, straightening or loc’ing it are the only ones that can tell because they see it first hand out of their own heads—every head of natural hair is different and looks different in the exact same hairstyles.

I always question bm that question bw hair because their criticism often reveals that 1. they have no idea what they’re talking about. Like when they compliment and praise makeup-laden ‘natural faces’. Or the suggestions for ‘improvement’ not making the least bit of sense for that specific texture in terms of keeping the hair healthy (like straightening).

And 2. they clearly have a preference that they have no idea that they have, because they understand nothing about natural hair beyond waves, fades, locs, and fros. It’s not that surprising.

A little ironic, considering all the natural hair content that’s available and just as telling. Where do you see bm in the comments? In the videos of their preferences 🤷🏽‍♀️ it’s not often bw with natural hair. It’s often the wig and extension videos. When they do pop up in natural hair videos, it’s often a specific hair type. One that represents the monolith they expect for all bw.

Proof is in the pudding. Not the assumption that all bm like all natural hair textures and styles.

They claim to scream their love for ‘natural hair’ from the rooftops..and yet they’re no where to be found…interesting.

Black women love lying and saying black men told yall to straighten your hair. How we told yall to straighten your hair but at the same time mocked. Your wigs and weaves for years and embraced you when you went natural? Ive observed black women call other black women "nappy headed" way more than ive ever observed black men do it.

I think its two things: A: White Men love Black Women, its just facts we do! I love Black Hair because its supposed to be natural!! And B: just like the Woman said, often times when marrying into a White community they dont know how to do Black hair and often lack Black salons and beauty supply stores.

White men have better things to do, like build, make money, succeed, protect, and marry BW than worry about how your hair looks. WM will consistently be winning and is the only choice for me. They are the best of the best, period.

I plan on making a video on this. I feel black men need to step up, cause it's embarrassing black women are more themselves with people from another race.

I just recently learned something. A cultural difference i guess.
Volume in hair. It's one of the reasons to why white people compliment our braids when there's new growth. Hard wigs have volume by the roots. I guess in a way, it plays a part to their attraction to it rather than when it flat. But normally men especially white men don't pay attention to a (black) woman's hair unless she has an afro. They really love the afro

its the fact we have more racism in our community surrounding dating then white people do when they date black people… i see so many black women with slayed hair who are dating men AND got the white men looking right too