😱do you have a hyper-vigilant trauma personality? Tests✅
😱do you have a hyper-vigilant trauma personality? Tests✅
This video includes 2 assessments: the trauma personality from eggshell parents/partners and the hyper-vigilance test (and both are a course preview from my new course:)
Also, you can now preview 3 lessons for free on my course website:
1. hyper-vigilance & trauma personality assessments
2. what are eggshell relationships?
3. the trauma…
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Yes, it led me to a nightmare. 🤢"I can absolutely prove that antisocial trauma spreads like a desease. One person does something to a healthy person, now the healthy person displays the behavior. Its like science. Put somebody through enouugh panic, enough pain emotionally, and watch them traffic in it years later. That whole THINK FAST, theres no time. Fast, hurry up, im in a panic. I had an egg shell parent who drank. Single mom, god bless her heart, she was a sweet person really, but that booze left ME at risk for some of that to hold on like a fish hook. A trauma personality possibly set her off years ago, i feel like she taught it to me. ☺️🙏💯
Isn't polyvagal theory unsupported and rejected by the larger psychological/scientific community?
Whoa, that checklist at 4:49 was one of the most eye opening assessments I’ve ever read. I think I checked every single box. It’s embarrassing to be perfectly honest, but I’d say I’m among friends here.
Pretty sure both my parents are autistic. Both very intelligent and did their best to play their roles. My father a provider, career military and rarely home. My mother very temperamental and definitely "eggshell", as you put it. Yelled a lot.
I was officially diagnosed February 2022, 39 years old and surprise, I'm a woman. I feel my parents did the best they could given they are undiagnosed. I also know that a lot of my trama came from my peers. Since kindergarten, they knew i was "off" and that is where my distrust of people started. "Eat the sand under the monkey bars and we will be your friend…we all did it." I did and i found out they were liars.
Getting older and being "too honest for my own good" has made it very difficult to form friendships. I am blessed with an amazing wife, so im not alone, but it scares me to think of how much i am able to get done because of her and not for myself. I have made her a special interests, in a way. She has been the only person to really see me and accept it all.
Since my diagnosis all i have wanted is to talk with others like me. I joined a group and made a friend but his iq isnt where i am at and i often take on a mentor-ish role. His experience is very different from mine.
Trying to unravel everything, asd, cptsd, anxiety, and who the heck i am has been so overwhelming. Trying to find someone(professionals) to speak with has been a constant brick wall. Trying to speak with my parents comes with dismissive disregard. Tried joining an "aspy" group but only 1 guy, and me, showed up consistently.
I feel like these last couple years have had me in a tailspin.
Thank you for posting these videos. I appropriate you sharing the knowledge and experiences.
Yesss I Do‼️‼️‼️ I Thought That Was Why I Was Diagnosed with CPTSD⁉️🤷🏽♀️
Trauma therapy exposed all these debilitating beliefs into behaviors of self-hate. WOW!!! Victory from such is such a relief for a part of finally achieving a quality of life.
What happens to that child that goes to comfort mommys tears and gets pushed away?
Dr Kim Sage
Hello once again.
Cool subject for me to tune into. Lake Tahoe is my next choice of treating my younger brother and sisters children for adventure and Cabin living with all the comforts life can offer. School is out for the summer and times to set foot in new paths
Been there, done that; for my whole life 😢
Thank you 🙏
I was always trying to rescue Mum from dad as a child , teenager etc until in my late 30’s I realised she was never going to leave him and she didn’t. Also spent my childhood trying to protect my younger siblings from his rages. I’m 67 now and I’ve never got over it.
You are talking about my life. I am glad I am not alone.
Ppl with CPTSD don't know what it's like to have balanced mind/life.
It's like blind person who never knows what it's like to see.
It's something I feel I will never know how a normal person feels like
Saved for evidence
Thank you again, another wonderful listen 💖
A couple times of year I drop down to a very relaxed state, and I become very aware of it. I think myself, oh wouldn't it be nice to be like this most of the time. The thing is people have absolutely no idea of this because of how good I have become in masking.
When everyone you have trusted, loved and served treats you like garbage it's only natural to develop protective instincts. I had 2 abusive parents who were violent, I was sandwiched between 2 hostile and dishonest siblings, my only aunt was a sadist, but I kept going until I turned 18 and then I left. Had no choice. My parents had always told me I'd be their captive until I was "legal" and then they'd throw me out on my tail. I had very little preparation for life but I worked hard from age 15 on to support myself. On the day I turned 18 I had an apartment in a different state that I'd been paying rent on for 3 months. No birthday wishes that day, just a "get the F outa here". My mistake was going back to make "peace". Impossible task when you are the designated scapegoat. When I had my own kids, I doted on them, giving them everything I never had. But I had to protect them from my sick family. That sucked. Again, no choice. When they decided they no longer wanted my services, the 2 kids dumped me, too. I prefer my own company now. I am the only person I have ever known who is dependable and kind when those qualities are required. Nowadays I need to preserve all my empathetic energy for myself and my animals. I have learned that humans aren't worth much. They go for what they can get and have no interest in giving anything back. F 'em.
I described myself this way to my mum years ago, and I am still like it. Something unexpected happens on a show on t.v. and I jump; the doorbell goes at home, and I jump; my husband touches me on the shoulder from behind, and I jump… and so it goes on. It is horrible and must seem exaggerated to some, but it is very real to me.
I’ve commented on here before about growing up in a very abusive farming environment. I definitely suffer from being hyper vigilant as there was never a safe place of a safe zone away from ‘the Father’ and his constant violent behavior and outbursts. To this day, I still hear his work boots thundering about looking for me if I were hiding or just trying to stay out of his line of fire. Sleeping has been an issue with me since my teen years and I am definitely in my element in darkness and at nighttime. I feel a constant anxiety which lifts around 9:30-10:00 p.m and I stay up until around 3:00 a.m. I always hated mornings because the monotony of work and abuse would start all over again. It’s amazing to me how much life has been missed out on due to the craziness, callousness, and upheaval of trying to run a large cattle farm. Thanks again for these videos and I wish love and peace to anyone who reads this post. Blessings. Jeff
My default is survival mode , Im hyper vigilant always scanning , thanks for these videos 🙏
Hi Kim. Thank you. I will share more soon. 😊 right now I just want to say how great I feel yet how absolutely enraged I feel about how misunderstood I still am in my family of birth. 3 siblings, 2 parents and how tucking absurd it is to still be so hyper vigilant, dealing with an emotionally sbusive and terrible husband. I know that I will figure this out. One more thing I will share soon. It sucks to have to look “ happy “ or “ normal” all the time just to avoid being scapegoated or “ put down”. ❤️, Noelle .
For as far back as I can remember, my job was keeping my mom & sister alive. So I'm consumed with hyper vigilance.
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I was almost 100% on the list. I believe mother is/was BPD and father a Narcissist.
❤
Comment for the algorithm
Happy mothers day 💓
Absolutely nailed it. 😢 mothers day is roughhhhh today (usa)
There is a mantra within that I oftentimes catch myself repeating over and over when I find myself in emotionally stressful or draining situations: “I don’t care “. I traditionally freeze.
Off to the right place for me to encourage a dear Navajo friend living on the Rez,He lives alone with three pet's and all that Money could probably buy,but lives with no set golds or something like that. Issue I think he's going through is your subject of this matter.
My party girl mom left me abandoned in the crib for sometimes 8 hrs at a clip. (my dad would come back from work to find me unattended)
Hypervigilant is ingrained into my very soul!….and since it occurred during my formative years there is no psychotherapy that will fix or provide adaptive tools to compensate for that.
I’m so tired bro. Living a normal life means going against my brains propensity every day. My body is so tired my heart is so tired and I have POTS. I’m autistic, adhd, CPTSD. I have never had a stable friend group and when I’m in love I’m so so anxious but I love so so hard. How I feel for those I love makes me want to cry. Everything feels sad. My grandma took her own life and it ruined my mum. She used to refuse me hugs and throw things at me when I was anxious as a kid bc she never knew love. My body is so tired bro. I always feel like someone is mad at me. My heart rhythm issues and palpitations are so scary. I never feel like my heart is beating normally even tho I was an athlete as a kid. It’s Trauma and sadness. My dad was never there. He was always dissociated. He never loved me. It was mum and work first. My friends would come over just to talk shit about my house and my family. My ex would laugh at me when I cried. I know that the vibration I am on attracts this and I just wish it could stop. For once I just want consistent and stable love and confidence and connection. I just want change I just want love. I’m so so tired and it’s all I want bro.
I DON’T EVEN HAVE TO LOOK AT THE MATERIAL. YOU HAVE HELPED ME MANY TIMES. I JUST WANT TO SAY HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!! YOUR CHILDREN ARE SO FORTUNATE TO HAVE YOU AS THEIR MOTHER! GREAT MOTHER, GREAT WOMAN, GREAT THERAPIST! Not fawning! You live up to your name. Have a wonderful day and week!
Wow I have 12 out of 20 on the list. 60%. Ugh
Sometimes i wonder if it's better to be an orphan and kicked out at 18 in the uk then you don't have to panda to anyone. But having the inner strength must be really hard at times knowing nobody is there for you and your on your own.
Happy Mothers day Dr Kim and Thank you 🥰
Work: I feel incompetent and constantly afraid of being fired.
Romantic: I feel like I care too much and am going to just be let down.
Friends: shrugs
I find it hard to just "be" in any contact with others… Period.
Can we get to the list?